At my study's final exams, I coded a system with login and everything included.

Showed it at the final delivery:
Fake client: awesome! So how do I logout?
Me: 😐
Me: 😶
Me: 😁
Me: 😓
Me: 😭

Yeah, you couldn't logout.

Made my day 😂😂

Bought a domain name to sell in the category of social networking.... then realized it sounds erotic

He is going places.

Rant 2/n; 😎 = me, 💩 = client
The (brief but comprehensive) docs I sent my client contained the following line: "Any text that has not been translated will be highlighted yellow for the admins".

A day later:
💩: "Hey, I like the new design, but why are the titles yellow?"
😎: "They aren't actually yellow. You just see that because you're logged in and they aren't translated"
💩: "But the yellow doesn't look good with the design. Visitors will think it looks unprofessional. Make them not yellow!"
😎: "They won't see the yellow! Only you can see it so you don't miss any translations"
💩: "Hi, I just noticed some of the titles aren't in English. How do I translate them? And they're still yellow."

😐🙁😠😡🤬💥

* Selects text to copy *
* Ctrl + C to copy *
* Selects text to be replaced with copied text *
* Ctrl + C again instead of Ctrl + V *

Instant rage.

My boss came into my room today, sat down and said:

Take your family to the [BIG AMUSEMENT PARK], and please keep the reciepts and give them to me. Spend a couple of hundreds bucks and we will pay.
Thanks for being someone whom I can trust

That made me happy

Just drank a coffee with soooo much energy.

I have relatively good dev superpowers now.

Random guy : Well I'm not tracked on the internet, I use private tabs.
Me : Well, I'm not sleeping with your mom, I use condoms

That's how it's done. 😁😁

Sister: today I discovered two new libraries
Me: what lang?
She: what?

She was talking about real libraries xD

The main reason I'll stick to development as a career for the rest of my life is the freedom.

I can have a 3 hour long lunch with my girlfriend, I can write code at 2am, and usually I can leave for short holidays with just a few days notice.

That freedom is saving the little bits of social life I have.

HTML is a programming language

*food comes in at work today*
Fellow engineer: yum yum yum!
Me: apt apt apt!
All engineers: 😑

😅

This is my motivation.

My manager doesn't get it.

My $1 Unix stickers took 4 days to arrive at my complex in my Bulgarian village. Wonderful Monday to you all, you fucks!

"enter Phone number"
"numbers not allowed"

Finally I have something to rant about.

Oh shit

1. Humans perform best if they have ownership over a slice of responsibility. Find roles and positions within the company which give you energy. Being "just another intern/junior" is unacceptable, you must strive to be head of photography, chief of data security, master of updating packages, whatever makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. Management has only one metric to perform on, only one right to exist: Coaching people to find their optimal role. Productivity and growth will inevitably emerge if you do what you love. — Boss at current company

2. Don't jump to the newest technology just because it's popular or shiny. Don't cling to old technology just because it's proven. — Team lead at the Arianespace contractor I worked for.

4. "Developing a product you wouldn't like to use as an end user, is unsustainable. You can try to convince yourself and others that cancer is great for weight loss, but you're still gonna die if you don't try to cure it. You can keep ignoring the disease here to fill your wallet for a while, but it's worse for your health than smoking a pack of cigs a day." — my team supervisor, heavy smoker, and possibly the only sane person at Microsoft.

5. Never trust documentation, never trust comments, never trust untested code, never trust tests, never trust commit messages, never trust bug reports, never trust numbered lists or graphs without clearly labeled axes. You never know what is missing from them, what was redacted away. — Coworker at current company.

I've just googled

"How to kill a demonized puma"

And now I'm not sure anymore if I'm a developer or a wizard

!dev

Honestly I love the summer (hate the cold) but motherfucker, hyperhidrosis is a fucking bitch (not diagnosed but one doesn't need to be a genius to figure this one out in my case)

😥

Ah, yes, javascript

We all know that guy that resolve all the conflicts with a "push --force"

Client: This blue looks a bit too white against the white background, please make it more standout.

Me: But this is your corporate colour and it is one of the colours in your branding guide. In it, there is also a warning saying “don’t use colours outside our palette” and “don’t use coloured typography on coloured background”. So you should use this blue only on white and you are not suppose to change the colour.

Client: Yeah, keep the colour but make it more saturated and change the tone a bit, so it has more contrast.

Me: 🤔

This is Facebook Messenger. And thats a fuckin Advert. Fuckin adverts in my fuckin inbox. For fuck me's sake, What the fuck

!rant
Wrote my first unit test. Strangely feels satisfying.

What a stupid configuration of firewall at my work:

devrant -> blocked because of entertainment category.
xvideos -> no problem at all.

Conclusion: sysadmin likes watching porn.

For fuck sake ... please make sure the logged in user is actually fucking authorized to see that orders info!! Very few things I hate more than being able to change the OrderID parameter in a URL and see somebody else’s order information.

Love it