Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

He turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

"At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

When you forget to exit a loop

And ... It's friday! 🎉

Why do most of the Java developers wear glasses?

Because they can't c#

If it fails put water...

Production server is down.

Dear Google OAuth,

you might hate me since i spammed you the whole day with access token requests.
But this is all your fault. Because you never gave me ONE SINGLE SHITTY TOKEN!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS "BAD REQUEST" ERROR MESSAGE?!

You're a rich as shit company with thousand and thousands of employees.
OAuth is one of your essentials cause it handles the access to all your services.
So why the hell i cannot get some smart errormessage to debug my shit.

You are like my gf, when she is mad at me and does not tell me why. But even she is a lot easier to debug!

I edited your code

Just a 'temporary solution'

Ah fuck it. I'm just going to buy a stress ball

We will use Brainfuck

"We must support IE8"
*insert Darth Vader nooooo gif here*

A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)

The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.

Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

Linux user now on guitar 😀

Internet is dark and full of funny things.

I got fired for not making the background of our website blue

I'll just leave this here......

That's the real difference!

Who else has the ctrl+s reflex... I do it on everything 😐

When you merge 8 pull requests and everything worked without any conflict.

Check it out: I just upgraded my workstation:

When I found out my JSON didn't parse because I used single instead of double quotes after two hours

When you need to download....

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

When you have something in your clipboard but then press Ctrl+C instead of Ctrl+V and end up with a blank line.

Wife: You never listen to me!
Me: Have you tried port 8080?

I'm going name a table "the bass".
I can now drop the bass.

Error! Factory produced more than one instance of Singleton!