Remember everyone. 5 hours of ChatGPT will always save you 5 minutes of stackoverflow

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Holy fuck, I hate the internet

Anyone else makes 50 projects in a popular framework then never finishes them and they just sit there with all the potential untouched and unknown to the world? Well that would be me!

Why can't SQL and NoSQL developers date one another?

Because they don't agree on relationships.

Well, that's kind of ironic, isn't it?

"Some settings are managed by your organisation"

I understand the necessity for companies to be able to remotely manage their devices, but my god, I hate working on company laptops sooo much!!

Fun fact, even Chrome can be managed! The can manage everyting. It's called Microsoft Intune. It sucks!! And fucking 45 day PW change policy! And fuck you, Windows Defender Real-time protection which I can't turn off and It's high CPU consumption. Also fuck you Microsoft Teams for scanning. Every. Single. Link. I. Click. On. From. A. Chat. Before. Redirecting. Me. To. The. Actual. Website. Always takes a couple of seconds. Waste of time. Those accumulate over time you know! AND to Windows Update! You already know what is coming next: stop force-updating while I'm in the middle of fucking meeting! I have shit to do! Another fun fact: you can postpone Windows Update by turning the clock back. LIKE PLAYING AN OLD TIME-BASED STRATEGY GAME ON PC IN 1999. (12h work best.) And this fucking weak ass VPN. WHY I PAY FOR 1Gbps WHEN COMPANY VPN ONLY 10Mbps?!! What Am I? A fucking snail! Go faster!! pls!

But, thank god, we can email shit and open attachments in Outlook.

Worked on a HR system where someone needed to add an 8th dependent and the system gave an error. I took a look and found the problem: The dependent table was designed with a set of columns for each dependent…like this, DepFirstName1,2,3,etc. That was fun to explain.

Sometimes I spend entire days working dark-to-dark with my headphones on

... without even listening to anything

And if I happen to be "in the zone", after the whole day of having my headphones on and not listening to anything, I take them off and feel like it's so quiet out of a sudden. It feels like I was in a noisy discussion (with myself) whilst I was "in the zone".

Just sharing my observations :)

I like the modern entertainment industry's approach to tackling piracy.

Make shows/movies so horrible nobody wants to even pirate it.

Informative :) The kind of quality I've come to expect from Microsoft (Tm)

... or is it actually a valid rant...

Hello!
I have created gitframed because I believe that code really is an art medium.
What do you think about that ?

Every Morning

For the first time in 20 years I used and xor operator.
I wrote in line of code instead of two.

How uses the xor operator?

Thought this was funny, thought I’d share.

Procrastinating and ending up winning a months salary from gambling with crypto. Not sure how I should feel about this..

Why in the name of Donald Knuth did you think it was a good idea to have a 1500 line Java Method? What THE HELL WERE YOU SMOKING THE ENTIRE FILE IS OVER 3000 LINES AND HALF OF THEM ARE COMMENTED OUT!

Don't even get me started on your "unit tests" which is a massive 5000 line behemoth that randomly has massive swaths of code commented out.

And of course no solution like this would be complete with you HARD CODING EVERY F****INIG STRING IN EVERY TIME!

And it's not like you don't know how to use classes as you have several of them, every single one of which is over 500+ lines and consists of only getters and setters. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO A MAP! REALLY WHY WOULD YOU USE 500 LINES FOR A CLASS THAT IS JUST GETTERS AND SETTERS?!

The part that really burns me about all of this though, isn't the fact that you sent it to me when I was running into a similar issue, and said "check this out it should help", what bothers me most isn't the indescribable rage I felt looking at your code, the part that really really really bothers me is that you are a veteran with over 15 years in Java development, and according to the org chart are a lead senior engineer getting paid substantially more than me, whereas I am considered a lowly mid-level developer, who isn't worth promoting to your level.

On the plus side you are now going to be featured on theDailyWTF so congrats on the notoriety.

I hate being micromanaged. It kills my productivity.

Some people write unreadable horse shit pretending to be code it even puzzles the computer.

Keep your dirty java thoughts to yourself

How to get everyone to return to the office:

Cripple remote access so badly that you can't get anything done due the frequent lags...

Been trying type your an email reply for the last hour but keep lagging out and losing my chain of thought...

Just need to install some dependencies

A place where "asap" is actually only used when necessary.

Me: we need to fix all these technical debt and prevent new ones from growing

Boss: this needs to be prioritized by product owner

Correct me if I'm wrong but a PO didn't see all the shit under the hood, (of a nice looking "car")... And by the time the engine starts choking... It's already too late?

Inkjet printers

Microsoft Fucking Sharepoint for development

- What an awesome morning. I'm so happy today!

*random windows update:
- Let me fuck your day.

Understand low-level stuff better.
Be better at maths.
Stop procrastinating.

When I teach/help someone with code without telling them explicitly what to type and their solution works and they get hyped af. Never gets old. I like helping people.

If i POST something here, you won't GET it because your response was not OK.😂