Named my current project "dumpster fire" so I can say "This dumpster fire doesn't even get through compiler anymore!" will work on that level too.

Pop (onomatopoeia) : The sound your managed gigabit switch makes when you accidentally plug it into the power supply of your 48-volt power-over-Ethernet switch instead of its usual 9-volt supply.

Classic Wordpress:

1. Find a problem
2. Throw 2 to 6 plugins on the problem.
3. Admit, that they don't fix the problem either.
4. Implement some crappy workaround yourself.

But: It could get worse. You could use Joomla as CMS. Same shit, but without the available mass of plugins.

I just noticed I'm programing while wearing a black hoodie, using vim.
I hope nobody uses me for making shitty stock-photos.

Client: *Signs Up* We didn't receive email notification
Me: Okay, we'll check.
*checked if a sign up record is saved*
*checked logs*
*everything is working*
*checked mailing statistics, found 1 email bounced*
...
Me: Are you sure you're using the correct email address?
Client: *tried to sign up again*
Me: *monitors database record, found out that they use incorrect domain on their email address*
Also me: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Lol :D

I hate it when you're in a groove and the daily stand-up knocks you out of it. Now I can't remember what the hell I was even doing before it.

What do french people use to share files?
Pierre to Pierre networks

Can you hack my ex's email/twitter/Instagram/Facebook/webcam/phone/...?

Ai is taking over the world

*Give a catchy tag to this*

Always treat contractors like shit.

😭😭

When somebody submits an issue to your backlog that not even Software Development Jesus himself could fix

How to properly comment your code

You seriously telling me that I can hand the same fucking html/css whatever to different browsers and they'll render it differently? I have fucking safari and firefox look the same/as expected but fucking chrome looks different.

What the fuck, why can't we have a single standard and have it be followed. I assume some super smart fuckers getting paid mad dosh are responsible for getting this shit done and wrangling all us retards running around flinging shit around doing any sort of web work. Related : https://xkcd.com/927/ but I am no less angry and butthurt. Fuck css. I'm still fucking boggled, why the fuck can I hand over the same fucking input and some special fucking snowflake decides to process it differently I'd like to think they should output the same fucking shit.

Plot twist: maybe chrome's rendering it properly but firefox and safari are both misrendering it the same way?

And I can't wait for QA to get back to me on how it looks on fucking IE and edge when I get sick of this shit and if I ever finish.

Stay unemployed.

Guilty of this, except the damn thing even crashes during the reboot 😢

Watch your git commit messages, you never konw when a webhook might publish the whole thing to Slack...

Friend: You make games right?

Me: Yea I try to atleast, why?

Friend: I have this cool idea for an MMORPG with fantasy elements and dragons and stuff!

Me: Well thats a lot of work, just setting up serv-

Friend: We can have a bunch of cool stuff like Sandbox stuff, Guild battles and 100v100 pvp

Me: As I was trying to say, it would requi-

Friend: OH We need space for atleast 10 thousand people on each server!

Me: ... Good luck buddy!

Fuck Joomla and all of its stupid iframe blocking settings

DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.

RAZER

When I plugged my $250 keyboard (Which I have had for years and love beyond measure) into my new install of Windows, it popped up with a cute little message to install Razer Synapse, which manages the lighting on Razer devices, like my keyboards (One mechanical and one not - for silence during voice chat), mouse and headset.

"Wow, this looks different", I mutter to myself, as I unknowingly and non-optionally install software which is IN BETA.

I notice that my other keyboard and mouse don't show up. I don't customize my mouse much, I leave it in spectrum cycling. Easy, works well. My other keyboard is much cheaper and does not offer very much customization (three colors. whoop. I don't touch that either much)

Since I only really touch this keyboard, I am not bothered in the slightest and carry on for a couple months. Fast forwards to yesterday when my mouse stops lighting up. Fuck, now its just a black blob. I'll open synapse tomorrow and fix that.

No I won't

After uninstalling devices, uninstalling synapse, restart restart restart, uninstall again, install again, blah blah blah, download a tool that didn't detect the device either, etc etc, for about two hours, I was about ready to accept my dark fate. But then, I saw (screenshot attached) this little itty-bitty beta tag next to the software (again) installed by default.

I about flipped my shit, uninstalled Razer Synapse 3 so hard it sent a tsunami towards some coastal country, and then angrily installed Razer Synapse 2.

That looks more familiar. Oh, there we are, all three devices. Ah, very well, my mouse is working correctly once again. I know its at the header of this rant, but let's reiterate (or, reiterage, in this case):

DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.

Thank you.

Attend all the meetings, they said. They're super important, they said. You'll get more code done if we hyper-report on progress they said. The bugs are piling up and we need to have even more meetings, they said.

STOP SAYING THINGS AT ME AND LET ME FUCKING CODE YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNTS.

Or rather Xcode 10

Blackberry be like... 😕

I am looking for self driven, software engineers that would like to be apart of something with a lot of potential. We are a startup, of friends with the same goals. Our experience comes from many years of embedded automotive industry and robotics. We are currently all contributing our time as sweat equity and looking for others that are willing todo the same. We work on the project in our spare time. We have shares to give to individuals that are willing to jump in with us.
The project long term "End goal" is AGI. Right now we are working on the Operating System that will be the "brains" behind the AGI. Our philosophy is if True AGI is ever to happen it wont be running on Linux, mac or windows. It will be it's own system.
We all are learning different aspects as we go.
The project is not open source for particular reasons and at this point in time we have no plans to go there either.
We are willing to teach and bring up to speed individuals who don't have a lot of experience, but understand basic concepts.
We are using C, C++, ASM as the language.

We dont require degrees and never will.
Its the mindset and drive of the individual that makes the cut.

Also looking for Web Developers who would also like to contribute the same way.

Anyone interested please contact me at chris@quantico.xyz

This is also the first Public announcement regarding our opportunity.

Found this gem of formatting on Android authority's tech deals site.

Hm... Apparently I've been doing TDD all along... it's just that I don't save the tests in a seperate project.

I just keep editing Main() to test whatever i'm working on (each class).

Also the NJTransit site is sneaky as ****. It seems the devs know a bit about how to prevent site scraping by checking Headers and Client information...

Took all afternoon to get this test to pass....

it works in Chrome but not in my code... and even after I spoofed all the headers... including GZIP.... it wouldn't work for multiple requests...

I need to create a new WebClient for each request.... no idea how it knows the difference or why it cares... maybe it's a WebClient bug...

And this is only the test app. Originally was supposed to be built in React Native but that has it's own problems...

Books are too old, the examples don't work with the latest...

But I guess this also has a upside... learn TDD and React rather than just React... hopefully can finish this week...

I'm actually on vacation... yea... i still code like a work day... 10AM - 8PM....

My dad found a phone a few weeks ago and asked me what he should do with it. Knowing how much it hurts to lose personal data, I said I could try to find the owner and send it back.

My first attempt was to search through the files on the SD card in order to find an identifying document (CV, bill, address...) but there were only family pictures.

My second attempt was to unlock the phone and check the information about the owner and the accounts linked to it. But for this to be possible adb has to be enabled. Good thing is that that particular brand shows an option for activating adb on the recovery menu.

But then, it's Android Oreo and I haven't found a way to lift the lock pattern. I thought I could bruteforce it over the shell (as I found there could be about 1300 possibilities for 2 to 5 point patterns), but there is the same attempt throttling as on the screen so that would take ages.

Finally, I found the owner in the most "social" way : The phone was displaying the weather for a particular place. It turns out that there are only 3K inhabitants in that city, si I thought that a big enough Facebook group might help me find the owner. So I posted a message on a 500 people FB group dedicated to this city with a selfie of the owner : someone identified her within 20 minutes.

Mission accomplished 😎

I helped my friends in my C programming class set up their IDEs today.

Them: Do I need the JDK?
Me: We’re writing in C, not Cava
ಠ_ಠ