I quit my job today, after 2 years as a developer. I can't remember the last time I felt so peaceful. I've yet to decide what I'll do instead. Wish you all the best, adios!

I love my city but cmon developers 😂

My doctor's office logs into their computers using the Administrator user. 🤔Pretty sure that's how patient info gets leaked.

!Rant

That feeling when you get when you reach a milestone after hours of coding, errors and the IDE just being stupid :)

GOLLUM!

The next time you see developers wearing headphones, please understand that it's our most polite of saying:

"I'm in the freaking 'zone'. Don't you dare disturb my rhythm in coding and lose my momentum. Now unless it's reaaally that important, leave it in our group chat/email and I'll read it later."

Tap gently. We're at overdrive when we headbang to music while coding.

My job/life presented in 3 symbols:

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Thank you devRant for the 2x sticker combo!! :) ( Usually it's just 3 stickers I think)

It's time to spread the word! :D

When you can request for a stress ball, tanks to all for your ++

My school has a proxy to block games and some other sites. I was thinking of ways to get around, when I remembered, "I don't have to code anything, I can use google translate!"

Everytime I throw my stress ball (and miss...because sports are hard) at a co-worker, they ALWAYS think I'm throwing an orange at them.

So where I work, we used to push our code from test servers to production every tuesday/thursday exactly at one in the afternoon. Every time there was a push, I would play "push it to the limit" blasting over my speakers. Now we have an automated push and I never really listen to that song anymore. I miss those days. Link related https://youtu.be/9D-QD_HIfjA

Art director said: "Please make everything smaller?"

Developer: "Everything?"

Art Director: "Yes everything. Font size, panel height, panel width, input height and width, photos, headers, paragraphs, everything"

Developer: "ctrl + '-' will that work?"

We need this done quickly!!! Don't worry about testing!!!

....

Why are there so many errors!?

CEO had a meeting with the Dev team today and it went a little like this..

CEO: You guys shouldn't be doing any Googling. You should know everything about building websites.
Me(in my head of course): GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

NSA: Hey, its looks like you a bit lonely
Me: Yeah sort of

CIA: (Retrieves list of facebook friends), why not hook up with these people
Me: Not interested

FBI: The girl across your room seems to be interested in you
Me: Nah not interested

CIA: We can send someone to keep you company if you want
Me: thanks, not interested

NSA: A girl winked at you at the cafe yesterday
Me: Didn't notice

CIA: What of the lady you spoke to on the phone earlier
Me: Too old

FBI: Can you please move your webcam to the left a little
Me: Bruuuuuhhhhhh!!!

My form of rubber ducking is starting to post a question on StackOverflow and realizing in the middle of typing the reason for the bug I've struggled with all day.

I made a Trello board and listed some tasks for me and my team.

My boss comes in, I show him the trello board to show how I organized our tasks.

He liked it, so I asked him if we can use it more frequently.

He replied: this is your code, do whatever you want.

I asked: my code?

He replied: yah didn't just build this webpage? This interactive task manager.

Me in shock: hold on you think I built trello?

Boss: oh ... You didn't ? It looks like something you'd do for your "front end masterbaution".

Me: oh wow, well... If that was the case I would've made $425 million on top of my salary.

Boss: looked at me like meh ~ and walked away...

devRant variation

When your system is so damn motivated, it tries to give its 200%

PM: We really need to solve this problem fast...

Me: So you want me to solve the element width or to reimplement the template?

PM: Yes! (and leaves before I can say anything)

Me: *poker face*

Script kiddies be like:
** install python **
print "hack this world"

woah!! I'm a hacker now

1 or 0 ?

Arghhh, rant time :|

So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)

The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.

Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.

Soooo, pointless :|

(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )

When your team has no time to address technical debt/infrastructure improvements but we need to make that square checkbox round immediately.

Final.zip
Final1.zip
Finalfinal.zip
final.v1.zip
Final.v2.zip

Project folder without git

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

When a client calls you after hours saying their website is down, you check it and it's working... Then the client says "oh, I was spelling our own domain wrong"!!!!!

I'd have to change my coding profession if Google died