You know as a FOSS developer with no company affiliation the "I am once again asking for your financial support" meme is truer every second

I'm sad and broke please help

Still learning haskell not even knowing a single good usecase for it. Nevertheless it is fun.

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

TL;DR: If you're an Android user, do yourself a favour and check out https://simplemobiletools.com/ . You're welcome.

Dear diary, today was a good day.
A small part of my faith in humanity was recovered after I found about Tibor Kaputa.

Apparently, this guy - like many of us - was fed up with the bloat, bugs, bullshit and 'features' of many of the stock Android apps that come preinstalled on most phones. And so, he decided to make his own.

Unlike most of us however, he actually pulled through. And then he made them open source.

No bullshit permission requirements.
No ads or tracking.
Custom themes.
And no, not just 'toggle white/dark mode', I'm talking 'pick your own color scheme', both within the app and for the app icon (!).
And then sync your colour scheme across the entire suite of apps (!!).
Simple UI, with a lot of customizable settings.
And if you get them from f-droid, it's all completely free as in BEER too!

I've spent a lot of time in the last year trying to find software that does what it's supposed to do well, without trying to pull any sneaky bullshit in the background or annoy me with crap that I don't care about in a miserable attempt to show off its useless features.

I'm not a fan of Medium myself either, but the author's article about how his suite of apps was born really resonated with me. If you care about privacy, open source software, and doing things right, you should really give it a read: https://medium.com/@tibbi/...

I'm particularly a fan of the Gallery, the File Manager, and the Music player apps, and the others don't look half bad either.

The accuracy

I just learned about the glorious language called batsh. It compiles, to bat and bash.
Considering learning OCaml to contribute, this is the holy grail that will bind us all together.

Minimum requirement of a Bachelors and you wanna pay me $18/hour?? Gooooooo fuck yourself.

They lack inventory management

Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

https://github.com/felixrieseberg/...

Idea: postpone risky decisions to the 1st of April and say it was a joke if people don't like it.

~~Or keep them to troll people even harder~~

Everyone. I hate everyone. I used to hate everyone and still hate everyone.

Good memories

Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

I'm no longer quitting with formal letters.

!dev I'd just helped a client cut over to a new fiber connection and then left for Vegas, about 2 days into the trip my wife and I decided to hit a breakfast spot that had bottomless mimosa's, which was of course a claim we had to test.

As we are walking(stumbling) out of the restaurant I get a call that the connection has crashed and the entire car dealership is unable to sell cars, which they tell me is important functionality.

So I make it up to my room and break out the laptop, luckily the mgmt interfaces are still available externally so I'm able to log in and then have the fun challenge of 1) not falling off of my chair 2) not accidentally making a change that kills what connection I have in and 3) fixing their actual issue.

Took me almost an hour to find a simple OSPF issue but at least got them working and happy. However by that time I was beginning to sober up, which is the absolute worst thing that can happen while day-drinking and ended up basically causing me to be be hung-over for the rest of the night, including my wifes friends wedding, which she wasn't thrilled about...

The moral of this story is to make sure to NOT stop drinking while dealing with unexpected production impacting events.

*client calls in*

Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.

*click*

😶

Programming is like sex because...

- One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
- Once you get started, you'll only stop because you're exhausted.
- It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you're doing.
- ...Conversely, there's some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
- You can do it for money or for fun.
- If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you're some kind of freak.
- It's not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
- Public schools don't do a very good job teaching kids about it.
- It doesn't make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
- Some people are just naturally good at it.
- ...But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you're wasting your time trying to tell them.
- There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
- One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
- It's a great way to spend a lunch break.
- Everyone acts like they're the first person to come up with a new technique.
- Everyone who's done it pokes fun at those who haven't.
- Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.

Source and full list : https://push.cx/2006/...

One of my most favorite quotes:

"UNIX is very simple, it just needs a genius to understand its simplicity."
- Dennis Ritchie

Hope I'm not late with this one.

Twitter: Julia Evans @b0rk

Guys, I am getting married in one hour 🎉

If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"

Interviewer: We're worried you don't have enough backend experience for this frontend position.

Many can relate. 🤔

The truth.

Will I be the only one who misses this key on the keyboards of some modern laptops?

"You're gonna lose. BUG TIME"

I need your support guys... It's been long time since I last posted, but this is a really awesome community and I was little busy. But now I'm back with a bang.... @dfox

Strongly typed SMS