devRant - A fun community for developers to connect over code, tech & life as a programmer

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About

a closet programmer
Skills

js,c++

Joined devRant on 7/20/2016

8

How long are we going to let hardware advancements bail us out from writing shitty software?

rant not sure what i should put here it bums me out

3
31

USS enterprise?

joke/meme

2
6

Something's oddly eerie about that subject line

joke/meme
118

Code Progression 😂

joke/meme wk109

5
9

I suck as Excel so instead of using it as every normal person I prefer writing a tiny script in Python to do the job...

rant wk106

2
117

3:00.
You turn off the PC.
You went to bed to sleep.
You realized you didn't have dinner.
You are hungry.
You are lazy and tired to get up.
You are in dilemma.
You are pretty screwed.

rant why do we have to eat?

13
229

Bored, stuck in a long ass meeting. When suddenly someone brings up the program I made. People start complementing it.

Today's gonna be a good day.

random complement meeting proud moment

4
92

After months and months of unrealistic deadlines, pulling late night shifts coupled with an insane commute and two very small children at home I had a total burnout. Turned up to work one morning, and stared at the Java code I had been writing for the past couple of days and it might as well have been written in Martian. The more I stared, and the more I tried to keep things together internally the less I was able to make sense of anything - just a random jumble of characters on screen that were as intelligible as the green scrolling lines from The Matrix.

My office manager saw that I was obviously in some distress and took me into a meeting room to have a quick chat - and there I was, a grown man of 35 bawling my eyes out like a two year old. Not the most edifying moment of my life.

However, the company couldn't have been more supportive afterwards; one of my colleagues drove the 100 miles to get me home in my car and took a train back up to the office; my GP signed me off work for six months and treated me for severe depression; the office instituted stricter working policies - not on the developers, but the sales/PM teams that were handing down ridiculous timescales simply so they could get a sale.

For my part, I've learnt to push back and say "NO!" - work is not your life, it's an important part of your life, but my no means everything. Don't feel beholden to a company to meet unrealistic targets that you haven't agreed to. Talk.

rant wk105

3
129

Sitting outside, in the park, sunny, warm, music, writing a new blog post for the security/privacy blog.

I actually love this 😊

rant not that random help also not really a rant

15
358

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.

random c joke unix

8
79

99 bugs in the code
99 bugs in the code
Take one down
and patch it up
117 bugs in the code

joke/meme

6
167

I don't hate newbies. I hate newbies that think they are pros.

rant pros newbies

10
289

Hmm. In the cooking section you say...

joke/meme raspberry pi

5
341

Shit just got real

joke/meme python meme

9
443

My manager doesn't get it.

rant powershell

11
361

Me: hey look, the time is gone!
Collegue:........?
Me:...... you don't see it? 😅😆
Collegue: no......?
Me: 4:04 🤣
Collegue: *gives death stare*
Me: 😞☹️

rant

14
62

If you're getting new error while debugging, you're making progress.

rant wk103

1
131

I still believe more people would use the voice assistant if they replaced "Okay Google" with "Operator".

joke/meme

6
109

"Don't learn Frameworks, learn techniques."

rant wk103

4
301

I got triggered by this scene!

<title><title>
<head></heaf>

rant

27
302

Someone had to say it

joke/meme meme

8
160

Two or more, use a for.

rant wk103

16
185

"Engineers don't memorize documentation. They know how to use it."

Programming felt insurmountable to me before I started with it. This phrase blew my mind and changed my approach entirely.

rant wk103

3
395

(Q: How much are you allowed to Google as a developer?)

“You’re allowed to Google as much as you want. This is not school, you’re employed to solve a problem. Nobody cares whether you Google for the answer or remember the answer from another Googling.”

rant wk103

15
524

Different error is better 👍

joke/meme

16
196

Your ego will hurt you FAR more than your junior coding skills

rant wk103

6
526

When you get high on validation

joke/meme new heights unlocked

11
329

Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"

Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"

Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"

Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"

Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."

Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."

Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"

Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."

Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"

Boss: "But they will never agree!"

Me: "Maybe that is good thing"

Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"

Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"

Boss: "I think I want a new mom"

Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."

rant gdpr

14
134

I just overheard a conversation in my uni and I'm horrified.
They want to use Comic Sans as the main font in the app they're going to develop
I hope I just imagined this

rant whyyyy uni stuff

3
436

IT can be such a thankless job.

joke/meme

9

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