Thanks stackoverflow...

We had a meeting whose agenda was to plan another meeting.

An Android Developer working with Core i3 processor would think twice before building 🤣

A lot of effort went into this job description. Well done recruiter, well done 👍

A rare bug appeared. It was my duty to finish it.

SH = Manager

SH: So when do you think you can finish the task?
Me: I still have to analyze the problem. Give me a moment and I'll get back to you.
SH: Alright.

*An hour later*

SH: *Approaches my desk* Have you found the source of the problem?
Me: Not yet. Please give me some more time.
SH: Ok.

*An hour later*

SH: *the approach* You found it yet?
Me: Yes, I've found the the source of the problem, But... *explains the problem and thus concluding that it's a complicated bug*
SH: Can you finish it by tomorrow?
Me: I'll do the best I can but I am not entirely sure if I can finish it by tomorrow.
SH: OK great!

*The next day*

SH: *Le approach* Hey I have a colleague here that may be able to solve the problem, he has skills with XYZ. Ok, I will leave you two at it then. *the leave*
Helper: So can you tell me about the issue here?
Me: *explains the bug and the source of the problem*
Helper: Have you tried solution A?
Me: Yes sir, but it yields a different output... *explains what happened with solution A*
Helper: Well, that won't work. What about solution B?
Me: I've tried that, too. *Another lengthy explanation*
Helper: Welp, ok. I'll get back to you on that.

(...But he never came.)

*A few hours later*

SH: *A.P.P.R.O.A.C.H.* Hey I have this team lead from another department. I think he can help you out on this one. *L.E.A.V.E.*
Helper 2: What seems to be the problem?
Me: *Explains again with all the solutions I tried but failed*
Helper 2: Wow. That really seems to be a complicated problem.
~~
Me (In my head): -_-
~~
Helper 2: Listen, I need to get back to my team. I'll keep you posted if I happen to find a solution for your problem alright?
Me: Alright thanks.

*Towards the end of the day*

SH: *APPROACHHHH* Have you resolved the bug yet?
~~
Me (In my head): You made me spend half the FUCKING day explaining to these people who didn't even give a piece of FUCKING SHIT to contribute to the problem and you are asking me if I am done with this FUCKING BUG? FUCK YOU, YOU SON OF A -
~~
Me: No, it is not finished yet..
SH: You have to finish this because we don't have tomorrow.
~~
Me (In my head): SHDIFHWISGSIFGSISBAUDBEIQBDIWGFIEBWIDHWIQBDOSBCISBDOSHDIAGSUSVDIFBDKDJWIQKDBDIDGSUWVDIABDIXBSIDBDIDBWUWGUSVDUWVDJQBDUDVWISHDUWVFG
~~

I went home for the day.

Wait. Say what Google Chrome? I can't use the .zip extension? Instead I have to use the .zip extension? What?

It still baffles my mind why anyone would prefer spaces over tabs.

How HR department reads your resume vs how a programmer reads your resume 😂

So...you downloaded a new keyboard you can't get it out of the second person. You don't know what to do. Help you, please.

When you receive a "bug report" from one of the clients:

Subject: contact form
Message: It doesn't work

Math teacher: 1+1=?
Me: one zero
Math teacher: wrong!
So i gived to her my calculator (in binary mode :-) )
Me: check the answer.
Math teacher: [saw 1+1=10 on calc] thinks about 10 seconds LOL then says: you calculator is broken!

Blue Screen Of Death v2!
How many agree?

Took me 2 fucking days to figure out why the loop wasn't working, biggest facepalm ever.

if(iterator.hasNext()){

// some awesome code

}

!rant

My girlfriend just got those for her laptop

Dev life

The company I work at have never used Git or any other version control system...
Today I'm working on making everything ready for Git and removing "backup", backup_old", "fileX.php" etc.
In the end, I'll be happy and the company will be happy for the better management and control.

Every time I look at some code and say "what the hell?!" the code refactors itself before my very eyes.

Hahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂

The superpower to perform version control on reality. (Git)

Imagine this universe (the current branch), which is made up of a series of events (commits).

Having this ability to allows us to:

- undo events (git reset/git revert)
- reorder events (git rebase)
- transfer to another universe (git checkout)
- derive a new universe from current universe (git checkout -b)
- delete a universe (git branch -D)
- apply an event from another universe (git cherry-pick)

and my favorite:
- merge universes and their events (git merge)

we have to resolve conflicting events, of course.

What else? ;)

I want the ability to find the answer in stack overflow in one click

Well yeah. He is right!

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

The toughest thing is to explain your parents that you are doing something productive when you are sitting in front of your computer for whole day.

#include <iostream>

int main(){
std::cout<<"hello there i'm new here\n";
return 0;
}

Coding is life ♥

Age++ !

User:"It's not working"
Me:"Have you turned it off and on again?"
User:"Yes"
Me: goes down there, system uptime is 360days...
"How do you turn it off?"
User:"by pressing the button on the monitor

Warnings are not entertained ! 😂

And now we have a guide for exit Vim

*hits blunt*
The reason Americans can't code is because it's called kindergarten not grade 0