Every website: “Please disable your ad blocker to have a better experie—“

Me:

When someone tells you they're a programmer and you ask them what language they use and they say,

English.

Teacher: So, how are you gonna code this ? Whats your logic ??

Me:

Good morning everyone, I hope the Windows update service leaves you alone today.

Hello World

A good rule of thumb when developing applications with a good user experience is to assume that your user is the dumbest person that is walking this planet right now, and make it so that one individual can figure out how to use your application.

Good luck..

Walking up to my computer, on autopilot i typed my password to unlock it, pressed enter ...aaand realised it was unlocked and I just sent my password in the clients general slack channel.
Quickly changed it to a smiley and pretended it was raining..

Any one else who mistakenly typed a password or other secrets in a slack channel or similar? XD

Good morning everyone. May your phone battery always be above 50%.

Not buying bitcoin in 2008

Really want to get shit done today.

Lets browse Spotify for 3 hours to find good focus music.

Spend 2 hours designing a new IDE color theme and inspections which should really help me do code reviews faster

Oh, lunch time!

Maybe after lunch I should read some random clickbait blog posts on organizational paradigms.

...

And now I'm stranded on devRant. 😫

When someone pays for WinRAR !!

EXACTLY!

DO NOT TOUCH MY FUCKING SCREENS FFS!

When a non-coworker stars your project on github.

Loser.

When you "fix" a bug not by actually fixing the bug but by disabling the user's ability to cause the bug.

Something I have learnt in the past month:

Never settle for a low salary no matter how good a company sounds (unless it's a really prestige company) if they don't realise your worth and don't care about their employees. Salary is important. You are important. And customers are important. Any company that just values money, income, profit and growth over their customer and employee experience is a huge red flag. If your work life is so stressful that it doesn't let you have a good work/life balance then avoid it. What comes above being a developer is being healthy and I think alot of people don't realise this. It may sound good to work as an engineer for a big platform but if they only value themselves you are just a cheap slave, move on and do something respectable and enjoyable.

Just my life lesson in applying for grad jobs.

Just another day in development.

Lets get to know eachother, shall we..?

It's come to my attention that all we do is either rant, or post memes! Lets talk! D;

What's your favorite programming language?

How about spoken/written language?

Favorite band?

Song?

Do you sit or stand while working?

What's the last four digits of your SSN? Haha, jk..

What are you passonate about?

What projects (programming or otherwise) have you started/picked up/finished lately?

What else do you want to share?

Answer as many as you'd like~

For fucking once in my life I decide to go very early to bed so I can be 100% clear in my head for today's meetings. What happens is the following:
1. going to bed at 10pm.
2. Falls asleep relatively fast (yay)
3. Wakes up at 1am
4. Has a major headache and gets dizzy when I get up to go take a leak
5. Grabs a huge glass of water
6. Goes to sleep again
7. Wakes up at 3am with major headache and gets dizzy when I get up again.
8. Grabs another huge glass of water and goes back to sleep.

It's now 4:36am and I'm wide awake, with no headache, and no ability to sleep apparently. F... M... L!!!

I are programmer....😁😁

Source : Reddit...

I'd probably be severely depressed and/or suicidal if this were me.

Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.

Me: What exactly do you not like?

Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.

I...I don’t know what to say.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

Nothing’s better than late night coding (I took it yesterday and forgot to upload)

When you look at the old projects you abandoned on github

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

Ever since I started working at a company that has a real focus on software I have less to rant about....😒

So, our team got a new dart board. Not the magnetic one, the wooden one with sharp darts.
Now, we all are wondering where should we place it, so that it is safe for everyone.