I need to make a confession. I wrote shell scripts that will automatically turn on my system and will download games and movies for me after office hours, using office internet

Found this gem today :)

Found this on reddit!
Looks like these people should join devRant!

How does that feel?

When you are on location (football stadium in this case) and you realize that some part of the algorithm isn't working quite right.

We are building a webapp for a little bet-game for our local football team and today was the first live test. I fixed the way the points are calculated in the half-time break.

You can edit code on mobile on gitlab. Doesn't mean you should, but you could. And I did.

Oh boy 😂

Source: nixCraft

FUCK WORDPRESS

Ty for your attention, that will be all. It is just annoying the hell out of me.

Let's play a game!

The first person to figure out the password to this account before April 7th will get two sets of devRant stickers for free!

When you've got the password, log in to this account and @mention yourself to prove that you solved it!

Here are your clues:
7 4 12 e 8 18 5

7d 76 64 7a 42 5a 36 7d 3d 4b 36 7f 5b 40 3f 47 44 3d 6d 54 46 6a 61 4b 42 79 53 36 5e 75 5f 38 5c 4a 3d 60 42 55 6d 72 76 36 54 4a 2a

Answer to the century old question.

Gru tries recursion

"You're gonna lose. BUG TIME"

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

This resume is just awesome :0

http://rleonardi.com/interactive-re...

When you don't have money to pay a designer so you decide to do it by yourself.

It's my first try...

I don't think that's the same Python...

This is where US's bandwith is going

Stop developing and become a cybersecurity analyst.

The beginning of my freelancing time. I was so naive. Didn't even used contracts...

This one client wanted a website with 2 specific features until a certain time. It should look nice, but only the features functionality was defined. All seemed reasonable at first.

I delivered 2 weeks before the deadline. The client was furious, as it didn't look like they imagined. They wrote me 8 lengthy emails with very fractioned feedback. It was becoming unreasonable.

But hey, I'm a newbie in this business. I have to make myself a name, I thought.
Oh was I naive....

This whole project went on for 2 more months. The client was unhappy with every change and 2-5 emails a day with new demands were coming in. I was changing things they wanted done 2 days ago, because they changed their mind.

Then they started to get personal. They were insulting me and even my family. My self-confidence dropped to an all-time low.

In the end I just sent them all the code for free and went to therapy.

BTW: this was also my most important experience, as things went up hill from then on. As Yoda once said: The greatest teacher, failure is.

*Me Calling the NSA..

[NSA]: Hello, how can I help you !
[ME]: Hello, this is the NSA right?
[NSA]: Yes
[ME]: Since you are recording all phone calls, I have a little request.
[NSA]: And What is that?
[ME]: My mom called me couple hours ago to bring something from the supermarket, her phone is off.. What did she told me to bring?
[NSA]: beep..beep..beep

Now the following might shock you, read on with caution.

FUCK YOU DEVRANT.

I was writing a beautiful comment, i wrote an eassay you do not find anywhere else, i was about to spread more wisdom than the fucken bible.
Decided to search some stuff to put in some references, change back to devrant anD THE FUCKING APP RESTARTED LIKE IT'S NORMAL TO DO SO. RANT GONE, COMMENT GONE, WILL TO LIVE GONE.

THANKS FOR FUCKING NOTHING.

but in all honesty, who cares. Not a big deal.

For the Germans among us. Found it at the Dortmund train station today. At least the syntax is right.

The real question would be. How do you get time to learn new technologies?

Made this based on one i found on the internet the other day

So glad I left this for myself

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

You don't know how much you need it until is gone.... 5 days whitout internet :(

Life suddenly became less complicated. Thanks devRant 😊

Randomly using // on documents instead of parenthesis

Boss: Oh cool. You were coding all week to finish this project. Now you can finish this one over the weekend.