Happy Halloween!

If you're going to ask for my help

... and then do the opposite of everything i say

... and then complain when things don't work

... and continue to ignore everything i say

HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF

My coding behavior:
1. console.log("Hello World");
2. CTRL S
3. this.date=moment();
4. CTRL S
5. const yesterday = this.date
6. CTRL S
7. Open Chrome Browser to preview
8. Accidentally pressed CTRL S and saved that page

Solving crashes via *big data*

Found this shop while taking a holiday in Mallorca.

Accurate 😂

When your mother keep waking you up asking where is MS Office Word...

- "I disabled unit test to make this work..."
- *Force choke*

Just want to recommend the DevRant stress ball. I wasn't quite sure how to use it (it doesn't come with instructions) but since stuffing mine down the PM's throat my stress level has reduced dramatically.

devCraft {
Closing the minecraft server for a little while!
I'll be adding mods, writing up a perms file, and hosting the pack on git! I'll post a rant with the repo link.
One of our lovely ranters offered a VM to host the server on, so the ip is probably gonna change as well! (i also gotta make an arch bootable USB, and running the server would slow that down lol)
i'll notify you all once it's donevia a rant, like i said. until then, formulate plans, and suggest some developer-related mods for me to add in! (must be 1.7.10)
Currently planned mods are:
- ComputerCraft
- Applied Energistics
- Buildcraft
- Project Red
and a few from whatever you guys suggest. see you then!
}

How many times I have misread pom for porn....

xkcd: AI in a nutshell

HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

Technicians are always being treated like GODS...

Non exsistent, until someone needs something.

Github stats:

coworker 1: 3,535k ++ 987k --
coworker 2: 1,563k ++ 735k --
etc.
me: 453k ++ 7,848k --

I guess this confirms my job at the company as "Backend Crap Remover".

I'm new, so I'm unaware of the rules. I'll simply assume I'm allowed to post this, if there are any moderators, please tell me if this simply shouldn't be here.

I came from Sololearn, and someone told me to download devRant. I love it.

I was the most active participant in the Sololearn Q&A, answering questions and replying to comments quicker than you can close the app.

Everyone knows me and enjoys having me there, but something happened. Some idiotic troll kept harassing and trolling others including myself. The mods banned him but he returned and was targeting me.

He made over 50 accounts and never replied to a comment with the same account. He sent threats and continued polluting Sololearn.

The mods had a theory is was me and banned my account. I'm heartbroken, furious, upset, and empty without my SL account. My codes are gone, my comments, answers, and replied are gone. Everything is gone.

They think I ruined SL with a false account and I'm trying to clear my name. I'm innocent.

That's when I discovered this app. In SL I loved the community and the Q&A and everything. I loved helping out but now I can't. People are even making posts asking me to return, but the mods removed them.

I hope the community here treats me well, and I hope this will replace SL. So far, I haven't felt the same way as I did with SL, but I'll try to love it just as much.

Yeah! I moved to Greenland 🇬🇱 and this is only a few minutes walk from where I work, soon going to make a punch clock system for the bar I tend!

Excited? Oh yeah!

Realising that 12 year olds these days can code and build better than I do today.

When I was 12, I was content playing Pinball and chatting with strangers on yahoo messenger.

I'm 23 and shameless.

Can totally relate to this

Yoda speaks like he wasn't careful with his async calls

"a Jedi You are"

If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

Every computer needs a “cleaning keyboard” mode where the keys would be inactive while you wipe them down

Do you people know that problem, where you sit down and code for 20 minutes, and suddenly it's 4 hours later?

"Why are people using Git? It's too complicated. Dropbox can do the same kind of things."

- A fellow CS student at university

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

The Web developer's equivalent to, "have you turn it off and on again":

"Try clearing the cache"

Never thought I'd have so much in common with a layout

My stressball went on vacation

Linux pople be like

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.