Placement Drives Be Like:

Company: "Congratulations! You’re hired!"

Me: "Thank you! When’s the joining date?"

Company: "Don’t worry, we’ll get back to you…"

4 months later: “Still processing.”

8 months later: “In the final stage.”

1 year later: “New HR, who dis?”

Me: "Bro, I didn’t get a job… I got a pending task!"

Unemployment Be Like:

Me: “I’m available to join immediately.”

Also Me: Available since last year.

Solo Leveling vs. Me:

Shadow Monarch: Starts at E-rank, grinds like a beast, becomes S-rank legend.

Me: Started as an intern, still stuck at:

(Write your answers in comment)

Relatives Be Like:

Mother’s side relatives: "Beta, how’s the job search going?" (Translation: They just wanna gossip if I’m still unemployed.)

Father’s side relatives: "Don’t worry, we’re praying for you." (Translation: They’ve already sent my resume to the local tantrik.)

Me: "Bro, I need a referral"

Job Offer Letters Be Like:

Page 1: "We are pleased to offer you the position…"
Page 2-10: “Terms, conditions, policies, and consequences if you even think about breathing wrong.”
Page 11: "Sign below if you’re still alive."

Placement Season Be Like:
Tier 1 College: "Congratulations, you’ve been placed with a 50 LPA package at Google!"
Tier 2 College: "Congrats, you’ve been placed with a decent package !"
Tier 3 College: "Bro, you know anyone who’s hiring? Even ‘Data Entry Job’ sounds like a dream right now…"

Mom: "Why are you always on your phone?"

Me: "I’m reading."

Mom: "Oh wow, what are you reading?"

Me: "Comments… on a meme."

Engineering Life:
4 years of sleepless nights, 40 subjects, 400 assignments…
And after graduation?
“Please attach your resume and 3 years of experience for this entry-level job.”

Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.

Free devRant Swag!

Oh wow, a free stress ball for 750 upvotes?

Guys, if I’m ranting hard enough to get 750 upvotes, I don’t need a stress ball—I need a new job.

The Real Dev Hierarchy
Senior Dev: "I have no idea, but let's Google it."
Mid Dev: "I have no idea, let me check Stack Overflow."
Junior Dev: "I have no idea, let me ask the Senior Dev."
Intern: "What's Stack Overflow?"

I told my boss I needed a raise because three different companies were after me. He said, 'Which ones?' I said, 'The electric company, the gas company, and the water company.'

When the Code Works but You Don’t Know Why
Me: "YES! It’s finally working!"
Teammate: "What did you do?"
Me: "I have no idea… and I’m too scared to find out."
Me, whispering: "Please don’t break… please don’t break…"

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Candidate: Well, I checked your LinkedIn... and most employees leave in two years.

Interviewer: Uh... welcome to the team?" 😂