“This should be super quick.” - product manager

When your "simple" example code looks like this, something really needs to change

OneDrive:
Login -> Password/Account is wrong
Forgot Password -> Account does not exist
Registration -> There is already an account with this email adress
Well, Fuck you

Total garbage

REAL gif from Hawaii warning system!

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

This got me thinking

What’s the most efficient algorithm to find duplicates in a set?

An SO moderator

Waiting for this day....

"It takes a lot of effort to make something seem effortless." - Alexander Isley

Burn 🔥🔥😂😂

I love it

If you start your npm install script at exactly 11:52:04 on New Year's eve, it will finish at exactly midnight.

Start off your 2019 right.

When I push on the wrong branch

Just saw this, people competing who's gonna put coolest shit inside 140 characters
https://www.dwitter.net/top
Some serious (js)dev porn inside

So my friend studies general IT (he did application development with me for 4 years before this) and they arrived at web applications and servers.

They *have to* use MSSQL and windows 2008 servers because "that's the industry standard, also for the big companies!"

He asked if he at least could use Linux for his servers to his teacher: "oh I'd fucking love to but that's not allowed from higher up 😞"

😷

true that.

Android developers will know

Practice

Fuck you, devs who quote Knuth:

"Premature optimization is the root of all evil"

I agree with the spirit of the quote. I agree that long-winded arguments comparing microsecond differences in performance between looping or matching constructs in a language syntax is almost always nonsense. Slightly slower code can even be preferable if it's significantly clearer, safer and easier to maintain.

But, two fucking points need to be made to you lazy quickfix hipsters trying to sell your undercooked spaghetti code as "al dente", just fucking admit that you had no clue what you were doing.

So here we go:

1. If you write neat correct code in one go, you don't need to spend time to optimize it. Takes time to learn the right patterns, but will save you time during the rest of your career.

2. If you quote Knuth, at least provide the context: "We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time [...] Yet we should not pass up our opportunities in that critical 3%"

YES THAT CRITICAL 3% IS WHERE YOU MESSED UP.

I'll forgive you for disgorging your codevomit into this silly PR.

BUT YOU'RE QUOTING KNUTH IN YOUR DEFENSE?

Premature optimization is the root of all evil... 6300 SQL queries to show a little aggregate graph on the dashboard... HE WOULD FUCKING SLAP YOUR KEYBOARD IN HALF IN YOUR FACE.

True hero...😂😂😂

It's so true that it hurts...

Did you say security?

It's funny because it's true

When you try to tell your fellow devs to start using Git 😶

Mother (working in recruitment): "What's the difference between JavaScript and Java?"

Me: "I'm glad you finally asked that..."

—_(*_*)_—

Is he… you know… *clips through the floor* a Bethesda developer

I suppose we all have been there

Dirty backend