Grammarly: the world's most useful keylogger.

Its really funny how apple does things 😂😂🍎

Apple: Born to be fruit

Linux/Unix: Born to be root

Windows: Born to re boot

Can't wait for this to happen

Apple rejected my app, because they throught there was a frickin Windows phone on my loading screen.

How insecure can you be?

A client asked if we could change their nameservers to wix's ones.

"we want to move to wix because one of my best friends can create a professional site there"

My eyes are bleeding and I think I just spontaneously got aids AND cancer at the same time.

Send help. Please.

We are in 2017! :)

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck

Sales guy (s) : how many hours do you think this project will take?
Developer (d) : well I guess about 250 hours

(one week later)

S: I finally sold that project
D: nice! When do we start?
S: you'll start next week and it needs to be done one month later
D: 40 hours a week, times 4 weeks for one month is roughly 160 hours
S: yes
D: but I said I needed 250 hours
S: yeah but they didn't accept that so I sold it for less
...
(and no the scope didn't adjust to the new time frame)

So @Linux suggested to make a face revealing rant!

This is the face behind @linuxxx! post yours BUT only if you're comfortable with it :).

Hahahha so accurate

Linux will be Linux.

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

SO FUCKING MUCH COFFEE!!!! FUUUUUCK!!
I'M LITERALLY BURSTING OF ENERGY!!!

I CAN'T EVEN CONCENTRATE ON MY WORK ANYMORE!!

An entirely typical exchange at work:

PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?

ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?

PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.

ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.

PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.

ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.

6 hours later…

ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.

PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.

ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?

PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.

ME: Babelsets?

PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.

ME: There are users!?

PM: Of course!

ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.

PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?

ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?

PM: Yeah.

6 days later…

ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?

PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.

ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!

1 hour later…

ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.

PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?

ME: What cron?

…

ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.

PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.

ME: Right. I’ll change it...

PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.

ME: What visual?
...

Kids of these days will never understand this strugle

...LOL

\(+_+)/

public class Girl{
private int age = 28;
public int getAge(){
return 20;
}
}

Devil is strong with me!

Explain recursion

Yeah okay

Customer at a first meeting:
- "Didn't realize you're a developer, you're almost good looking!"
Never got a more bittersweet compliment.

Fucking what?! 7GBs to change one line of code and recompile...

My friend: After a week of coding finally added 500 lines, now i have 1000,I'm so proud . How is your project going?
Me:

First thing I get today after waking up😍
Thanks devRant

Thank God secondary phone number isn't required.

STOP👏MAKING👏ASYNC👏CALLS👏FREEZE👏THE👏GUI👏THAT👏IS👏THE👏POINT👏OF👏ASYNC👏

There are two types of people on DevRant:

Those who add tags
and
those who give a fuck about them.

If the time comes when the traditional signing in with email dies out, I don't know how long I'm gonna last to the Internet anymore. I never liked the idea of having my accounts associated with these giants especially with Facebook.