"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"

"I am an experienced data protection manager"

"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"

"No"

"Your email address?"

"No"

"You're hired"

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.

Hmm... Can someone help me find the "please wait" key?

:^)
For real though, to each their own in the end.
I accept MacOS for development, but Apple hardware is just price gouging.

Its really funny how apple does things 😂😂🍎

He's got a valid point

Why not! 😂

Playing 'Skip-Bo' with my daughter.
She: "Why isn't there a zero in this game? You know...0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...."

MY daughter ❤️.

Hot fix of a production bug!

mom: call your friends

me: okay hold on

myFriends();

We are in 2017! :)

Prof: Okay guys, i need a flash drive to put a copy of your next project.

Me: *pulls out a flash drive and sho-..*

Prof: except you, I dont trust you.

Bored on a weekend i decided to write a html5 canvas game, got into the zone and a couple of hours later I was done and figured I should out it online. Then I realised my Wi-Fi was off and I had written the entire thing without Google.

I used CSS to vertical align some text..

without checking Stack Overflow

The moment an other team couldn't deliver for a deadline. CEO came to me, gave me 50 bucks told me to get a pizza and some hash and just work the night and deliver the damn app. So I did. Got a week holiday for free in return. One of the best guys I worked for.

Potential Employer: So your website does not seem to work well in Internet Explorer. A lot of employers might get annoyed with it.

Me: Yeah, I don't want them to hire me or even send me a message.

I had a dream where I got a job at SpaceX. Long story short, rockets fell from the sky, people died, and Musk got really angry. I don't think I'll be applying at SpaceX anytime soon.

This is like..... Spot on. 😂

I fucking love my parents.

Came to visit them again and told them that I might buy an iPhone in the future (I fucking hate apple/i-devices and they know that).

Mom: "You are going to WHAT? Are you okay, son?"
Dad: *walks towards me and puts hand on forehead* "Hmmm, doesn't seem to be that warm. Maybe we should visit a psychiatrist soon."

Me: 😂. mom, dad, I fucking love you.

How they teach http errors the easy way..

When your boss wants it done now but you're on vacation

Me and ma kid

YouTube TV changelog:

Made me chuckle!

Heaviest Objects In The Universe

Professor at Uni: "Missing a semicolon on yozr final exam could be a reason to fail that exam. Coding on paper is much better because that is what you will be doing on the job. "

Hate those written Java exams on paper.

Teacher: Your program has to be at least 2000 lines long.

-_-

When StackOverflow is the only one, who believes in you

Technical difficulties at tomorrowland ....

Me and my wife are software engineers
Started dating while doing a project together
I guess you could say that we...
MERGED WITHOUT CONFLICTS