Details
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AboutFull-stack developer, master of nothing. Always learning.
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Skillsjs, jQuery, html5, css, Vue, nodejs, ruby, rails
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Location127.0.0.1
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Github
Joined devRant on 2/12/2019
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Teaching new devs, hired straight from India.
This is today.
Bug1: We have four lists, each item in these lists has a variable called "Charge". This var is a double and we need to convert it to currency.
Dev creates fifth list called "All lists" and converted it's charge to currency then questioned why it didn't work.
I explained, his solution? Convert each list into currency.
I explained that's wrong and told him what he needed to do. He did List1:Charge into currency, but left his other conversion in place just in case.
I walked him through fixing it which took 10 times as long as necessary, only to find out he randomly converted four booleans into currency for no reason.
Bug2: we take integer, convert to string and concat "Months" on the end.
Doesn't work for him, tells me he doesn't know why.
I told him that he's not outputting the variable that we did it to, he is instead outputting a custom variable he made and didn't do anything to.
Bug 3: followup to #2, he fixed it as I instructed, but then added months as static text to the output so now it reads "Months months".
Bug 4: to make his code cleaner, he presses enter in the text box. Unfortunately he did that IN A STRING so his output is full of random /r/n
How do you guys deal with coworkers like this? He isn't new, this is supposed to be an experienced developer. Im only in my 2nd year23 -
Look at that. The very fucking smart colleague spent 40 days implementing a repository pattern (WHEN WE'RE USING AN ACTIVE RECORD ORM), breaking stuff left and right. Does he use that fucking pattern at the very least?
Of course he doesn't. And along the way he's making sure to create conflicts with the stuff he broke (and I'm fixing). By the time I fix the merge conflicts of one commit, he pushed 6 of them.9 -
PM was on vacation the whole sprint.
this sprint was so much more... convenient. i really liked what i was working on.
Also, team lost some of its bureaucratic discipline along the way.
colleague replacing him, in today's daily: since the sprint is basically almost over, i can really recommend to the whole team to wrap up your work of this sprint, so you have something *done* that you can deliver or show in next week's sprint review.
team: ...
oooohhh boy, let me get a shitload of popcorn for the sprint review when PM is back 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿2 -
Manager: Please make that text in plane white.
FullStackClown: Oooo, that's a tough one. What's plane white?
Manager: Are you serious? You literally don't know what the color white is?
FullStackClown: Well sure I know what white is, but I'm not sure what plane white is, there are dozens of airliners, and I'm sure they all have slightly different shades of what they are using for their light color in branding...
Manager: ...
FullStackClown: ...12 -
I started my first job in programming on Tuesday. I made a VPC using CDK in Typescript. Today, I deployed to production for the first time. Never felt so proud of myself. 😊4
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I worked at a startup. They wanted to "save" money. So they hired a relative of "Fred" named "Bubba". Bubba made a custom website. Like hand built gifs and who knows how hand crafted html. It was fine for a time. Then somebody was wondering why nobody was calling us at the company. No customers. Another relative named "George" (who was actually a business major) looked at the website. It had been hacked and replaced with Jedis fighting Sith Lords. Me and another engineer named "Zeus" said "fuck this shit" and said "we are redoing this shit".
So I logged into godaddy (I know, shitty) and installed Wordpress (kinda shitty). I proceeded to turn wordpress into a half decent page. Wiped out the shit that was there, reused images as it made sense. Created more images. Reduced images to 80% quality to take loading size from 10MB to <1MB. Then I also proceeded to do SEO work and get the website listed properly within about a month. Customers started calling all the time. I had a simple contact form that barely gets any shit on it due to captcha. The was 5 years ago. I left 3 years ago (still help them on weekends) and nobody has done shit with the website. They are still getting calls and it hasn't been hacked.
We don't talk to Bubba. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. I wonder if he still does websites for his relatives. I honestly had no clue what I was doing, but my take on the approach was easier to maintain and even George and Zeus and the new manager "Ralph" can maintain it, kinda. Went from shitty static website to full on dynamic and interactive. Yeah, I know, "dynamic". But the manager was happy.
Sometimes you just do what you gotta do in addition to doing all the electrical and software engineering for a company.6 -
Employer: Hey, we are moving an API update live tomorrow morning that could affect our apps. Can you regression test the apps to make sure they all work?
Me: The API team is pushing code overtop of live endpoints that can break them?
Employer: Yes, we need the updates to work with a new product we are developing.
Me: And nobody thought about versioning these endpoints so we guarantee uptime on all existing services using them now?
Employer: We looked at that but it cost extra and required us to use the cloud solution so we don’t use versioning.
Me: Okkk… I also take it that the API’s don’t have integration tests written?
Employer: What are integration tests? Are unit tests the same thing?
Me: No, so when do I need to regression test all 7 production apps?
Employer: The API’s are moving to production at 4am and we need it signed off by 7am.
Me: I only have 3 hours to regression test 7 production apps at 4am? Each app, if I just skim over them, would take me 2 hours each. I will do my best but that’s a very short time to ensure complete functionality.
Employer: Don’t you have unit tests?1 -
Monthly Update call
Me : I need 2 undivided weeks in the next 3 months to make some refactoring to our codebase, so we dont have issues in scaling.
Senior Manager (with years of tech experience almost equal to my age) :
Why would we need that, We are already hosted on AWS so we can just spin up more instances.
Me ( trying to hold the rage inside) : No it doesnt work that way, that will only hurt us more than help.
Him : What if we try with a bigger instance size. Its AWS, sure they will have a bigger instance.
Me : No, tha....
Him : (cuts me off) How about we use autoscaling and let AWS decide
Me : (Silently praying for a gun that shots across video calls.)8 -
Registering a new account for microsoft teams:
`Your password cannot contain a space, &# characters combination, or the following characters: < >`
Are they storing the passwords in plain text? Are they not sanitizing the input? Why the fuck would they care if I put motherfucking emojis in my password? What the fuck are you doing to the passwords, Microsoft? TELL ME.4 -
Microsoft Teams can burn.
Who the fuck thought it would be an excellent workflow, when you want to COLLABORATE IN TEAMS between users in different domains, that each sorry bastard needs to manually log in to a second Teams tenant and loose all the context from their main Teams tenant !?
On random occasions the fucking authentication token expires. I send messages to my team mate in another domain. Three days later I am pissed off because they don't answer. It turns out their authentication token has expired so when they are on their main tenant they don't get any notifications before they manually log in to our tenant as a guest. HOW FUCKING GREAT IS THAT AS A NOTIFICATION SYSTEM ??!
Would it be that fucking difficult to maintain a notification bar with all tenants and note with an exclamation mark or something REALLY FUCKING SIMPLE to hint about an expired token ? It's not like this is magic, Slack does it already.
FUCK !7 -
Manager: "<third-party vr app> isn't working. Think you could fix it by tomorrow?"
Me: "I can't fix it without the source code."
Manager: "Didn't you install it?"
Me: "I did, but I'd need <third-party>'s source code if you want me to make changes and that problem would probably take at least a day to fix."
Manager: "Can't believe you don't have the source code. Aren't you supposed to have your code available?"
(Just....)18 -
Manager: How long until the current set of tickets is complete?
Dev: Based on storyboard points it’ll be 1.5 weeks from now
Manager: That’s unacceptable! Let me take a look at the board and see if I can remove some low priority tickets.
*Later that day*
Manager: Oooo I found a bunch of really exciting tickets in the backlog that I forgot about. I’ve added them to the board.
Dev: Did you remove any?
Manager: Huh? Oh right. No, I looked and it all needs to get done.
Dev: With these new tickets added to the board our new estimate is 4 weeks.
Manager: WHAT?!? BUT I SPENT ALL DAY LOOKING FOR EFFICIENCIES!!
Dev: …15 -
Too many clients watch one or two development videos on Youtube to then 'school' me on how to fix bugs... if you're such an awesome dev, why hire me? :)2
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IT is currently putting on a giant presentation at the corporate offices telling them that our development team builds all of our apps using MS PowerApps and that all of our internal development is done using no code tools…what fucking planet did they visit to come to that conclusion??6
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idk why I'm so anxious about money... I'm not broke, I'm better than most people my age, ffs i have savings, but whenever i think of spending on sh*t i need i start thinking about what if i get fired, what if i have to move back with my parents, where do i put my cat???
wish my brain was doing better tbh7 -
Worst dev team failure I've experienced?
One of several.
Around 2012, a team of devs were tasked to convert a ASPX service to WCF that had one responsibility, returning product data (description, price, availability, etc...simple stuff)
No complex searching, just pass the ID, you get the response.
I was the original developer of the ASPX service, which API was an XML request and returned an XML response. The 'powers-that-be' decided anything XML was evil and had to be purged from the planet. If this thought bubble popped up over your head "Wait a sec...doesn't WCF transmit everything via SOAP, which is XML?", yes, but in their minds SOAP wasn't XML. That's not the worst WTF of this story.
The team, 3 developers, 2 DBAs, network administrators, several web developers, worked on the conversion for about 9 months using the Waterfall method (3~5 months was mostly in meetings and very basic prototyping) and using a test-first approach (their own flavor of TDD). The 'go live' day was to occur at 3:00AM and mandatory that nearly the entire department be on-sight (including the department VP) and available to help troubleshoot any system issues.
3:00AM - Teams start their deployments
3:05AM - Thousands and thousands of errors from all kinds of sources (web exceptions, database exceptions, server exceptions, etc), site goes down, teams roll everything back.
3:30AM - The primary developer remembered he made a last minute change to a stored procedure parameter that hadn't been pushed to production, which caused a side-affect across several layers of their stack.
4:00AM - The developer found his bug, but the manager decided it would be better if everyone went home and get a fresh look at the problem at 8:00AM (yes, he expected everyone to be back in the office at 8:00AM).
About a month later, the team scheduled another 3:00AM deployment (VP was present again), confident that introducing mocking into their testing pipeline would fix any database related errors.
3:00AM - Team starts their deployments.
3:30AM - No major errors, things seem to be going well. High fives, cheers..manager tells everyone to head home.
3:35AM - Site crashes, like white page, no response from the servers kind of crash. Resetting IIS on the servers works, but only for around 10 minutes or so.
4:00AM - Team rolls back, manager is clearly pissed at this point, "Nobody is going fucking home until we figure this out!!"
6:00AM - Diagnostics found the WCF client was causing the server to run out of resources, with a mix of clogging up server bandwidth, and a sprinkle of N+1 scaling problem. Manager lets everyone go home, but be back in the office at 8:00AM to develop a plan so this *never* happens again.
About 2 months later, a 'real' development+integration environment (previously, any+all integration tests were on the developer's machine) and the team scheduled a 6:00AM deployment, but at a much, much smaller scale with just the 3 development team members.
Why? Because the manager 'froze' changes to the ASPX service, the web team still needed various enhancements, so they bypassed the service (not using the ASPX service at all) and wrote their own SQL scripts that hit the database directly and utilized AppFabric/Velocity caching to allow the site to scale. There were only a couple client application using the ASPX service that needed to be converted, so deploying at 6:00AM gave everyone a couple of hours before users got into the office. Service deployed, worked like a champ.
A week later the VP schedules a celebration for the successful migration to WCF. Pizza, cake, the works. The 3 team members received awards (and a envelope, which probably equaled some $$$) and the entire team received a custom Benchmade pocket knife to remember this project's success. Myself and several others just stared at each other, not knowing what to say.
Later, my manager pulls several of us into a conference room
Me: "What the hell? This is one of the biggest failures I've been apart of. We got rewarded for thousands and thousands of dollars of wasted time."
<others expressed the same and expletive sediments>
Mgr: "I know..I know...but that's the story we have to stick with. If the company realizes what a fucking mess this is, we could all be fired."
Me: "What?!! All of us?!"
Mgr: "Well, shit rolls downhill. Dept-Mgr-John is ready to fire anyone he felt could make him look bad, which is why I pulled you guys in here. The other sheep out there will go along with anything he says and more than happy to throw you under the bus. Keep your head down until this blows over. Say nothing."11 -
Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?28 -
made a terminal themed portfolio website in 5 hrs
I used GitHub pages to host the website and name.com for the domain from the GitHub's student dev pack
I was able to implement basic typing animations using css although my website doesn't take any user input
Website : https://satvik.ninja
Repo ; https://github.com/satvikDesktop/...8 -
Yo dawg, I heard you like writing code for code you already wrote. So I made you write some mock functions so you can write code for code you already wrote!2