Origin story

If we ever colonize Mars or if we even go further I am already feeling sorry for the poor bloke that will have to work on DateTime library.

Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:

"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."

Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.

This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃

I'm not an iOS expert, I just wanted to get Google ads on my iOS app so that I could make a few petty dollars at the expense of my users. Is that too much to ask?

I started by following Google's instructions: install cocoapods, copy and paste some swift code... Compile failed, app broke. Carefully retrace my steps. Nothing.

Stackoverflow (praise be with them) suggests upgrading Xcode. Go to app store and click to upgrade Xcode. No progress bar, no status updates, just that pissy little spinner for several minutes. I become impatient try a few more times. It ain't happening.

Stackoverflow (holy of holies, defender of the weak) points me to an alternate source for Xcode, on the app store dev console. 4GB and some time later, an attempt to unzip gives "unknown error". Genocide of sorts.

Stackoverflow (all that is pure, all that is kind, all... I think you get it) says upgrade your OS. I tried months ago but I had issues with that pissy little spinner. Persist. 5GB and a "heavy-year" of time later (sorry), it installs. Then Xcode installs. Then bar a few errors, the app compiles.

So after almost 24 hours, life resumes. The lesson.. respond to all obscure iOS errors by upgrading. If fully upgraded, calmly acquire a baseball bat and destroy your machine. Make sure you have a good book nearby in case of either event.

Thank you for reading my rant. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay Apple
$150 so that I may list my app in the app store.

$ ./my_script.sh
> zsh: permission denied: ./my_script.sh
$ sudo ./my_scripts.sh
> sudo: unable to execute ./my_script.sh: Permission denied
$ sudo sudo ./my_script.sh ?
> zsh: shut the fuck up

Even though I haven't had such an experience yet, I can assume that this is what every dev sees when he lets the client play with a new feature

Too true, too true...

Living in the constant fear of the many threats that only people like us can understand. Even some of our closest friends will poke fun at us for being "paranoid" because they don't know how fucked things really are.

Trying out the Windows 10 version of devRant. I had to get the Windows Store back on my system as I got rid of the Windows App the came with upgade but, once I figured how to add it back, I got devRant and it looks great!

Oh Windows :)

Pm: "so how long should this take?"

Me: "well, I see at LEAST 8 hours of work here for me, some of which can't be done without graphics, but let's assume graphics are done by designers by the time I get to hour 6 and I just have to plug the images in without much editing or tweaking."

Pm: "So you'll have this by tomorrow?"

Me: "Do you think I just sit on my hands all day waiting for one of you trolls to give me something to do? I said AT LEAST 8 FULL HOURS OF MY TIME, that would be assuming I could get 8 consecutive hours to work on this, and let's face it that's not gonna happen."

Pm: "So Friday...?"

Me: "Tell the client that so long as there aren't any unforseen issues it could be done as early as Thursday. I'll put it on my schedule, but it is not a priority until at least Monday. There's only one of me and 5 other active projects on my desk."

Pm: "I'm gonna tell them Wednesday morning we'll show it to them for approval."

What in the hell is wrong with people?

Oh noooo!!!

Spent the last 15 minutes explaining the difference between bit and byte to a Comcast rep...

She was right. Today is her marriage :-P

What if all that was that easy !! :-P

Wasted 45mins interviewing a "developer" who couldn't use git, the command line, CSS preprocessors or task runners. His sites were all template rubbish and he wanted £300($370) per day.

The worst part has to be you always compromise on your health just because your brain is telling you to solve a code block. You ignore your basic necessities, resulted in irregular patterns of sleep, skipping food and so much more.

Trying to maintain code which was written long back and alot of it has deprecated.

Yes you need to sit your ass down and write the whole thing again.

It feels awkward testing a feature using front-facing camera. XD

When u run java on your computer

PM ordered me to not use encryption for customer authentication links because we want to be able so send same link if the user loose it. "we have to prioritize usability over security". At least I can tell future hackers it's not my fault..

>boss comes into the office
>bright smile on his face
>fear.png
>
>"we are using php for this project"
>
>"no"

Client: Half of our barcodes aren't being recognized. Can you tell why?

Me: Ok, I will look at the problem... Open the imagens of the failed barcodes and see that all of them have a stamp over the barcode...

What I have done wrong to deserve this...

Well... I found the bug...
Thanks Sun/Oracle for the clever API design. ;)

Also... I feel like a noob now :D

- Morning
Restart is required to install updates. "hmm shouldn't take much"
- Breakfast
- Graduated
- My kids are playing outside
#PC is still updating

Found a use for that new Touch Bar!

Typing 'pubic' instead of 'public' is always fun!

Debuging 101

1 You open the project.
2 Run the app and replicate the bug.
3 Stop the app.
4 Stare at your code for like 15 mins and change nothing.

5 you re-run the app and hopes that it would fix on its own even if you didnt do anything.

There are two kinds of people.

When you've been a developer for 13 years and new kid comes in and shows you stuff you don't understand #kidsthesedays

Where are you Kevin?