Just a hard worker

Barely keeping up with the ++'s again :P

Thanks to every person who is ++ing me.

I know I have ranted here before about how I hate this client and the changes they are always making, but today the app was officially launched with a big media presence! I have never felt such kind of joy as a dev before!

When you discover that new CSS animation and want to use it everywhere

Two CSS properties walk into a bar.
A barstool in a completely different bar falls over.

Java Joke......

How Programmers review code

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

Just saw a variable in C named like this:

long time_ago; //in a galaxy far away

I laughed no stop.

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

As a Dev,
I hate writing Docs.

As a Dev,
I hate it when there's no Docs.

Vicious Cycle.

My biggest dev sin is not writing any unit tests for devRant :/

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

This one's good. Picked it on social media.lol

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

"Let me just check devrant while the IDE is launching..."

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

When your vending machine throws an unhandled exception...

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.