Americans be like "I'm offended! My compiler said I have a syntax error!"

SOOP - Stack Overflow Oriented Programming

PM: oh hey you guys are back early, did you figure out that bug yet?
Dev: server’s haunted
PM: …what?
Dev: *loading pistol and stepping back into server room* server’s haunted

You know what a payment feature that is “so secure even the correct user can’t use it” is called?

FUCKING BROKEN. Jesus Christ I hate it when “customer service” people are trying to sound smart.

Repost from Reddit, i will probably do another with certain color theme, i just prefer this to be 'dark' build as it is how i initially immagined it.
I plan on expanding with certain micro pc, as server, 3d printer and some true hifi.
Suggestions?

If something is functional and you don’t think it’s beautiful, you should rethink your definition of beauty.
— Some moron, 2017

I wish impostor syndrome wouldn't be a thing. After reading some blog posts I feel like I lucked out and I should just quit this and become a delivery man or something.

Today I had to explay to a new developer, gradueated in Informatic, that our 15 year old php application uses global variables and strings as sql commands.
It seem to force someone to prostitution.
It's just like to drive a ferrari using a double-clutching because the gear is not syncronized.
I was shamed.

I hate my scrum calls so much. People go into the fucking weeds and the scrum master is so clueless. Doesn't stop them and let people ramble. Jesus christ.

If scrum calls last more than 10 minutes, I think you're doing it wrong.

"Do you have enough bandwidth?"
"No."
*Passes me another project

Whats the entire point of asking in the first place?

So this post by @Cyanide had me wondering, what does it take to be a senior developer, and what makes one more senior than the other?

You see, I started at my current company about three or four years ago. It was my first job, and I got it before even having started any real programming education. I'd say that at this point I was beyond doubt a junior. The thing is that the team I joined consisted of me and my colleague, who was only working 50%. Together we built a brand new system which today is the basis on which the company stands on.

Today I'm responsible for a bunch of consultants, handle contact during partnerships with other companies, and lead a lot of development work. I'm basically doing the exact same things as my colleague, and also security and server management. So except for the fact that he's significantly older than me the only things that I can think of that differentiates the seniority in the team are experience and code quality.

In terms of experience a longer life obviously means more opportunities to gather experiences. The thing is that my colleague seems to be very experienced in 10 year old technologies, but the current stuff is not his strong side. That leaves code quality, and if you've ever read my previous rants I think you know what I'm thinking...

So what in the world makes a person senior? If we hired a new colleague now I'm not sure it'd be instantly clear who should guide and teach them.

two trucks having sex
two trucks having sex
my muscles
my muscles
involuntarily flex

When you're not confidant enough in your own code ... but you should be:

Me: "Why the hell is this duplicating data?!?!?!"

-time passes-

-figures it out-

Me: Wait that returns an error wouldn't that be ...

Yeah there was an error on the god damn screen in the status box I created telling me what was going wrong but I just ignored it... I was knee deep in code and my own UI was telling me what was wrong ;)

>: what kind of future do you dream of?
>: A future where you can buy SSD of 1 terabytes for just 1$

today, thanks to everyone else being tied up in meetings and forgetting to invite me to those meetings, i actually had a pretty zen day of refactoring and reviving old unit tests that no one ever seemed to know why they didn't work and so they were just skipped over.

I accidentally added an node project with node modules into IntelliJ and its still indexing my files.. hopefully it'll get over till my next years appraisal

Hi guys, I created a tiny Anime quotes API called Animechan. Totally free to use anywhere 😊✨

https://animechan.vercel.app/

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I hated this day! Get out of bed to a direct fire and firefight all fucking day long, cook while firefighting, shit while firefighting, make dinner while firefighting and now I finally get to eat my fucking dinner without a laptop in front of me. I just want to scream FUUUUUUUCK so very loud but I'm a nice neighborhood. Fuck, shit cunt day. Fuck.

Why I chose my specialty? I'm good at it. I kinda been going with the flow my whole life...

I quit my first dev job of less than 6 months. Nothing lined up but it was not what I wanted and I was burning out quickly. Felt like a zombie, thinking of my work after work, and unable to get anything into my head, isolated and other needs not met for an entry level developer.

I luckily have money saved up for a year and hitting leetcode and everything else. Will I find a job right away? Probably not. However, I took the first position within a month of interviews during the pandemic and regret that I stopped applying even when I saw the red signs.

I’m scared but I didn’t beat my head against the wall at school to be taken advantage of like this (imo they need a senior).

2020 was trash as a fresh grad but maybe this year will be different. I know more than before and I especially know what I don’t want.

Here we go again, no looking back now.

Few days back it was just a meme but now it's a sad reality. About to cry now.

Wrote an entire complex React component in about an hour. I'm talking it fetches data, manipulates state, renders child components, has some CSS-in-JS, and even uses the React componentWillUnmount method

I'm tired now

You ever look back on a piece of code and think 'damn, did I really write that?'

Question: Why did the DataBase Administrator divorce his wife?
.
.
.
.

Answer: She had "one-too-many" relations

Invest more into stocks.
Started trading a bit at the end of last year ,made some solid returns. Have quite a bit of cash laying around so I think I'll just invest and spread over companies I believe in as I only plan on using the cash in the next year or 2. Work on some of my personal projects, because I didnt last year - at all. Also work out a bit. Got a bit of a chub going on during the pandemic. Learn GO. Upskill and maybe look into switching companies.

Buy some shit. Been saving around 80% of my paycheck for almost 2 years now... I've bought a roof over my head so it's time to spend some of the cash to get a few things to enjoy myself. Sell some unused stuff. Vomited some thoughts.

Wish everyone to achieve their goals!

I created a white noise app called Ambie that plays sounds to help you focus, relax, or meditate. You can also download more from the sound catalogue in the app, which is powered by Azure. Free, no ads, open source. Try it out: https://jenius-apps.github.io/ambie...

When it's payday but auto debit hit so we're broke again

The neverending story...

My mom died when I was 7, after which my dad bought me a Commodore 64 so I had something to lose myself in during the mourning process.

I learned everything about that system, from my first GOTO statement to sprite buffers, to soldering my own EPROM cartridges. My dad didn't deal with the loss so well, and became a missing person 5 years later when I was 12.

I got into foster care with a bunch of strict religious cultists who wouldn't allow electronics in the house.

So I ran away at 14, sub-rented a closet in a student apartment using my orphan benefits and bought a secondhand IBM computer. I spent about 16 hours a day learning about BSD and Linux, C, C++, Fortran, ADA, Haskell, Livescript and even more awful things like Visual Basic, ASP, Windows NT, and Active Directory.

I faked my ID (back then it was just a laminated sheet of paper), and got a job at 15-pretending-to-be-17 at one of the first ISPs in my country. I wrote the firmware and admin panel for their router, full of shitty CGI-bin ASP code and vulnerabilities.

That somehow got me into a job at Microsoft, building the MS Office language pack for my country, and as an official "conflict resolver" for their shitty version control system. Yes, they had fulltime people employed just to resolve VCS conflicts.

After that I worked at Arianespace (X-ray NDT, visualizing/tagging dicom scans, image recognition of faulty propellant tank welds), and after that I switched to biotech, first phytogenetics, then immunology, then pharmacokynetics.

In between I have grown & synthesized and sold large quantities of recreational drugs, taken care of some big felines, got a pilot license, taught IT at an elementary school, renovated a house, and procreated.

A lot of it was to prove myself to the world -- prove that a nearly-broke-orphan-high-school-dropout could succeed at life.

But hey, now I work for a "startup", so I guess I failed after all.

Cause of dev stress

!dev
Bringing the funny as the devs say.
Found this a few minutes ago. Hope this 'enlightens' a second of your life.