Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

Documentation is your friend. I learned off of just documentation and experimentation and I feel I got a broader understanding of the language more than any tutorial could.

The moment I need internet to do things (npm with angular), but the company moved to a new building and internet is screwed. It'll still take a while to set up. So now I'm sitting here, ranting on devrant and doing nothing.

My exact face and thoughts right now:

Microsoft is finally more innovative than Apple, right?

I submit all my code changes to the integration stream. Co worker integrates my code removes all my changes that breaks his hacky crap. Then complains his stuff doesn't work. I ask him why he he did not conform to the requirments says cause this is what worked before. I look at code see he assigns a value in the message to zero. I ask ever so politely why he is changing the incomming messages. He says this is what works. I Then send an email to him telling him this in an error. He reply saying this it what works. At stand up he complains and says no messages are getting through it doesn't work. The team tells him to revert to the original code. (My code) and update his code after two days of emails to bosses and complaining he reports it works with my code after he is done. He is the senior senior chief grand Pooba and makes more money than me.

When your searching for something so off the wall Google doesn't know how to handle it.

Putting headphones on and being left alone

Have you ever had a recursive meeting? A meeting about a meeting, about a meeting, about a meeting...

Bucky Roberts from Thenewboston @youtube! This guy has taught me more than my professors in uni!

Indian code. Check out the variable names. What a mess.

Why do people have to have surnames like "Test" and "Sample"? We even have a contact record for an organisation called "Testing Circle", Circle being the name of one of our service providers, but this other organisation is unrelated and genuine.

Fav function is printf() in C.
Because sometimes, it's the best debugger.

2nd time today.

When your manager estimates your tasks for you.. :(

Such clients