What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

[person] so, what do game developers do?
[me]

So like... did it fail or complete successfully?

Apple rejected my app, because they throught there was a frickin Windows phone on my loading screen.

How insecure can you be?

Hi guys,
Please come and vote for my game STRIFE - Battle for the Southern Star in the Game Dev World Championship!
https://thegdwc.com/

A beautiful email sent by a company whose owner is also the world's richest man

The way git preserves history before you pushed to github is beautiful at times

And on Fridays we all say together...

✨
✨ DON'T ✨
✨
✨ PUSH ✨
✨ ✨
✨ TO ✨
✨
✨ PRODUCTION ✨
✨
✨

You: Starts something.

You: Compares results to someone who's been doing it for years.

You: Gets discourages.

You: Stops doing it.

You 5 years later: I wish I hadn't stopped.

Kill him!!

Not exactly a dream, but during an internship where I tried to engineer a way to listen in on Bluetooth communications, I went so deep down the rabbit hole that I once half-asleepedly thanked my girlfriend for "keeping an eye on the Bluetooth channels for me, because these little twerps just keep jumping around all over the place"

So strategically placed

Dead.....

Totally understandable error message... 😅

Got these from the GitHub stand at DDD Sydney..

They are really cool and can't wait to put them on my SurfaceBook 🤘🤘🤘

Drops by byte

Interview scheduled : 11.30 am
Reached venue: 11.15 am
Waiting for my turn : 2.30 pm
How much time should I wait: some one who is part of team, give me two minutes let me check
Me still waiting for info/my turn: 3.00pm
Chuck this, left venue: 3.00pm

Why do they schedule interviews if they cant manage or provide proper inputs.😤😤

Devrant meetup Nijmegen

Grandma... I'm sorry to tell you this - but your grandson is a super-creep. Don't encourage him.

So... some guy at the company I work for complains to software dept that we've broken his app.

He's saying we've removed the drop down list from this field he uses....

We're all like... there's never been a drop down list there?!

it escalates and some big-dogs get involved. One of us has to go out and see him. Turns out the "drop down list" was his browsers saved autocomplete history, and he had changed browsers.

Asshole.

This is how you test your website in “old browsers”

well, sorry Dave

Not code related, but.....
When you open a pron site and see this

Guess I should save the planet instead of jerking off

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

So this story is from my University days. I was in the 6th semester back then, studying CS.

My University website was pretty shitty. Basically it was one of those old ass website that said "Best viewed in IE8". Anyway, I was snooping about the website, trying to find some news regarding an event.

I logged into my account, and randomly browsed into the leave request portal. This was a basic HTML form where students could apply for leaves from the classes and see the status of the leaves, if they have been granted or not. I noticed that the link to the request portal from the student login welcome page was actually something like http://univ.com/student/index.php/..., here 1234567 was my student ID. Yep, it was hardcore into the page, and sent as a GET request on being clicked. That was their idea of authentication I guess. I change the student ID to someone else's, and it let me login as that person.

Long story short, I wrote a little python script to login as every person from the starting of student IDs, till the end, then submit a leave request with a random dumb reason like "can't come, at the strip club" or "going for sex change operation". What I did not know was that when a request is submitted, a text message is also sent to the student's guardians phone number. I ran the script.

That day, over 1000 parents received text messages from the University saying that their kids have applied for a leave from random date to random date for some retarded reason. It was a blast. Students were talking about how someone had "Hacked" into the system.

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.

A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.

A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.

So the secret code is now "".

Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.

...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.

I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!