My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"

Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"

"I have no idea what this line of CSS is doing."
*Deletes line*
*Entire app falls apart*
"Better put that back..."
*ctrl z*

Another benefit of working from home: PRIVATE TOILET.

One fucking toilet for 15 people is not enough.

Stackoverflow.

*15 new emails*

We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
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We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
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Today, I learned the shortest command which will determine if a ping from your machine can reach the Internet:

ping 1.1

This parses as 1.0.0.1, which thanks to Cloudflare, is now the IP address of an Internet-facing machine which responds to ICMP pings.

Oh, you can also use this trick to parse 10.0.0.x from `10.x` or 127.0.0.1 from `127.1`. It's just like IPv6's :: notation, except less explicit.

"WiFi is better than Ethernet because the air is bigger so it can hold more internet."

Yes, and horse-drawn carriages are better than cars because they have bigger wheels.

Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.

Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.

Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---

Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...

Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...

*Changes code*
*alt + tab to website*
*ctrl + s to save changes*

FUUUUUU...

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

A friend needed to test an API so, I told him to download Postman to start testing POST request and he ask if he needed to download Getman for testing the GET ones 🤣

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

Confession:
I actually like to code with JavaScript.

It's a terrible language, yes, but I find it fun to work with.

I want a TV program like "Kitchen Nightmares" but with IT companies.
And with Linus Torvalds in place of Gordon Ramsey

After an hour of debugging, realised that I wrote =+ instead of +=.

I will just to go in a corner and cry for a minute. brb guys.

Why do some female programmers place emphasis on their gender?

It's always: female programmer... Female web developer... Female android dev... Female Sysadmin... Etc

I mean, you don't see males saying "I'm a male programmer."

Female programmers aren't rare anymore. More and more of them are starting to program, so what's the point of emphasizing your gender?

For some reason, females think it's "special" to be a female programmer.

How does your gender relate to your skill?

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

Thanks for the info

The wizard

This is where US's bandwith is going

It all makes sense now...

I am pretty fast...😂😂

when you check the commits to see who wrote shitty code

When a website uses https but stores passwords in plain text...

Did you say security?

My clients be like

When you talk to other devs about what their code did. I also relate myself to this.

Just applied to a new job with this as my cover letter.
Wish me luck!