The way of the code warrior is no match against the way of the wife...

...unless, wife is a developer as well :)

This is such a great relief from my student life and I'm sure brings smiles to fellow software devs when working. Thank you devRant!

So we have to do a final project for a course in groups of four people. The project's about multimodal user interfaces and physical computing. Apparently they decided to randomly assign the groups. No biggie, I thought. So once we got in touch with each other, it turns out the three other people had a lot in common.
1. "I'd prefer to take care of the design and visual stuff, coding isn't really my strength"
2. "I don't know python, but we can use it as long as I don't have to touch the codebase"
3. "Do we have to use git? It was so hard the last time."

Come one, you're 3rd/4th year students with quite a lot of studies in java/scala, how hard can it be to grasp the basics of python.

It's gonna be long two weeks... Oh well, it's a learning experience.

I have a pen...

I have a paper...

Uh!

...programming!

How did I start:

It was 1994. I had been kicked out of school on academic behavior. I was working at as a telemarketer to pay the bills. I got drunk on St. Patrick's day and over slept my shift. My boss was going to fire me but said he wanted to give me a second chance. He asked if I knew anything about computers. I said no. He said if I was willing to learn, our IT guy was burning out and needed help. I said ok. Next thing I know I'm learning how to write SQL and importing data to print call cards. I read the manual for Foxpro and started building small desktop apps as labor saving devices. 6months later in knew more than our IT guy. Later a friend showed me "the Internet". I went back to our IT guy in amazement. He said it was just a fad. He called it the CB Radio of the 90s. Our network we ran was called Lantastic.

I immediately quit went back to school and changed my major. I have been a full stack Java Web developer will the heavy emphasis on UI since 1999.

Craziest deadline I've ever had...

Task: Patch 193 machines
Environment:
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners

...timeframe...do it today!

Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.

Well, i when I was 13 I thought that a bit extra knowledge before programming in school would be nice, so I bought a book about the basics of java. The books never mentioned the concept of an IDE, so I just used the windows editor and command lines.

And yes, you guessed right, the battles with the compiler were furious.

Installed Linux on a crappy laptop got many many errors. in the process of googling then fixing them I fell in love with the os itself and it turned me towards programming now we sit here me a game Dev major

shutdown now
SUDO SHUTDOWN NOW

Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"

Me...

When my boss said that one language is better than others because it's being used by big company

I accidentally sent my bachelor thesis to the 3D-printer. It printed a big peace of shit.

"I should stop abusing caffeine" - I say as I chug down yet another monster

A devops engineer in its natural habitat

I'm browsing DevRant, giggling to myself, my girlfriend asks to see why I'm laughing,

I show her...
*Stares at it with a blank look on her face*
"I don't get it, explain it for me please"

I explain that: even if I explain it to her, she STILL wouldn't understand.

2 hours later she's made her first "Hello World" Java App so she can join DevRant 😂😂😂

True story

How this could happen? 😔

That fealing when someone that picked from the graves an old project that you've started when you were just a noob developer... and then you look at the code... and then the shame.

Lets have a game of cards....

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

There are a lot of things that could rank up as the worst about being a dev, such as recurring meetings, documentation, shitty requirements, pm gnats, Monday, etc...but something that truly ruins it all is NO INTERNET CONNECTION.

Never forget 😂

Not being able to raise volume of my laptop with only one hand because the fn and f11 keys are just one hand and 3mm apart really kills me !