Height of work pressure:

⚠ I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with the keys.

⚠Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants and as I finished, I started walking towards the wash basin with plates in my hand.

⚠I don't login to facebook, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked anyway. Till I realized that, I was at home.

⚠Once after talking to one of my friends I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye... in case of any issues will call you back"

⚠Once I went to a pharmacy and asked for a tab. Pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg? I replied 256mb. Thank god he didn't notice.

⚠After a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen.

😄So avoid working so hard !😄

Have a great work-life balance.

Lastly...

⚠Extreme Work Pressure:
An employee opens his lunch box on the road side to see, whether he is going to office, or coming back from office.😂😂..

Late night programming with pops.

This man has taught me most of what I know and I have a terrific amount of respect and debt for him, and his work.

Here's to a lot more years cranking that genius brain of his! 🥂

I was refactoring the most underneath part of our server code and just found 'getUserGender' method. I think for a second:We don't have this info. Look inside:
return name.endsWith('a')?"female":"male";

😑 it's surprising how much it works in Brazil.

gotta love when the experience they require for a job is years longer than that language has been out

one of our engineers accidentally deleted our production database and our clients didn't even notice. that's when we knew they are not using our product.

My favorite thing about completing a project is closing a bazillion browser tabs.

Another awesome dev quote

I can't find my hotel room...

Random memories

Happy update guys)) I'm a devDaddy!!

You know you need to reevaluate your life when you see this.

Some random recruiter just endorsed me for HTML 🙌🏼 Made My Day 😍

Joke of the day 🤓

No matter how many times I learn how to center a text vertically in a div, every time I have to spend half an hour just looking for a solution

Reviewing old code. First thought always starts with "What the hell... What did I do here?"
Best case scenario: " oh.. Oh! I wrote this? Nice."
Worst case scenario: "I hope nobody has seen this... Oh God the header has my name..."

Refactored a lot of code in between meetings today. Feeling accomplished. Haha!

I wish I had this board game when I was a kid

Are youba full stack developer?

Why yes, I am a full stack (overflow) developer

Why did the developer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays

Something... Something... 39000 feet.. Something... Why won't my code work.

Does anyone actually know css off by heart or would your webpage look like diarrhea if stackoverflow was down for the day

Seriously, why are so many companies caught up with if there developers working from home or not? Maybe it's where I'm at, but my last boss said ...

" I know you don't have any problem making deadlines and your a good worker, but you still need to come to the office in order to have face to face interaction."

Me: "This is the first face to face conversation I've had with someone in over a week."

Boss: (shrugs)"our goal is to build an office friendly environment where people will enjoy coming into the office"

Me: in my head "your an idiot"... Out loud "Ok"
...

In reality my custom built machine is better than yours, and I'm more productive in my Sealy Posturpedic chair and pajamas than your wack office chair with you popping your head out of your office every couple hours to "manage" me when you haven't written code in years and i have to teach you things that you bring to your boss to make yourself look smart.

Am I the only one who figures out solutions to complex issues only when peeing, bathing or taking a dump? 😂

When I was first hired, I coded all day long and all was right with the universe. Then I got promoted. now all I do is attend meetings, grant access, and review other people's code. I need a demotion.

to late 😂

My biggest tip to new developers? Embrace your ignorance, don't be embarrassed by it. Let it inspire you to learn as much as you can, let it humble you into asking questions when you're stuck, let it prepare you to change within an industry that is anything but static. Admitting you don't know something isn't a weakness, it's an opportunity 😃

Who all got 3+ screens at work? 🙌🏼

<rant>
*Rules For Work*

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

</rant>

Every. Day.

every developer ever.