well lead software engineer.....

Automatically generate unit tests for all the code I write.

When you discover the business platform your company is currently migrating all their sites into emails your password to you when you request a reset.

My cat.

<someone> just +1 a rant you posted

Im really tired

Got a new phone and the theme here on DevRant is all light and shiny.

What is this madness!?

Dat moment U came to say devRant . But it is already the top rant :/
😑😑😑

My colleague is getting a divorce soon because Tinder thought it's a good idea not to add the "Delete" message button.

His wife is a good friend of mine. Finally a MILF I know.

Thanks Tinder.

Mum: "What's that?"
Me: "A book on the new version of JavaScript."
Mum: "Is that like Java?"
Me: "..."

Sooooo. I saw this.

I am at a loss for words. This JavaScript powers the login of a company's intranet

I just spoke to somebody who said she has learnt jQuery and javascript is next on her list of things to learn.

It makes me want to cry.

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

Company I work for issues Macs to everyone, and it's a software company. I'm not a MacOS fan. Tried for 3 months, still irritates me. Now I have Windows 10 on my MacBook Pro, and the world is right again. You can't imagine the flack I get!!!!

Naming a variable "dogFucker" in anger and accidentally committing it.

TEAM MATE: let me sync my branch with upstream master
*starts typing*

git pull upstream master

ME: Nooooooo!!!!

The code in that last PR was so bad it crashed my browser...

80% of all programmers have cats 😺

User error: Replace the user and try again.

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

Amen Brother ✊️

Person: Hey, I heard you are good at programming, can—

Me: No.

So I picked up my nephew from his kindergarten and he told me that forks have round holes.
I laughed and said that forks don't have holes, otherwise the food would fall down through them.

It turs out that he was right and I was wrong.

Gillette Excel

I was a freshman in highschool when I encountered the book entitled "Teach Yourself Visual Basic 6 in 21 Days"

I loved that book so much that it took me 4 years to finish it.