Our boss demands us to implement machine learning to an obscure project.

So we use machine learning to find what to use machine learning for.

Rewarding myself after a long stressful week

"Age is just a number"
No, "Age" is clearly a string.

I thanked a recruiter for her patience and help today...

... and I could tell that made her genuinely happy. Recruiters are people too. ^_^

Since 4 weeks i have during work my noise cancelling headphones on, thanks to the new open space office.
I don't even hear my phone ringing 😂

Company is about to move. Fellow developer jokes on a general meeting that people should delete stuff on their computer to make then easier to transport.

I'm not sure everyone got the joke....

Consultant: "I don't agree with that, it's got to be something else" when you point to a known fault with the function they are using in the framework.

Then you send them 10 articles from stackoverflow and the framework's own website.

Consultant: "Oh. Thank you."

Just let me fix the damned bugs and not have to justify every single fucking change I have to make to make the damned thing work the way it is fucking supposed to.

This is why we can't have nice things.

I get a call asking how I would handle a problem using the system from one of the Project Managers.

I told him that with very little information, the system is designed to do 80% of what he wanted automatically and walk you through the steps to make sure him and his whole team know what's going on during the process.

He says back, honestly I don't want to learn that, I'm just gonna use excel and here's why

**hang up phone**

It's a walk through that does 80% of the work automatically that will take you days... What is there to learn?

- Hey, have you heard of devRant?
- Look I have been a developer for more than 20 years; new IDEs, editors, languages or whatever that is, appear every week and they all just die. I'm sticking to my guns and nothing you can say can convince me to even look at this devCrap or whatever it is.
- Oooooookay...
#devCrap

I don't work on cool stuff, I'm a nerd.

Coolest project? Well, one time I had to take a dump while I was coding so I took the computer to the toilet with me and that was pretty exciting

you feel like you've saved the world when you've fixed the problem after 3days!!!!

Haven't seen this one in here. Made me laugh quite a bit :D

The more I C, the less I see

Yes! Just installed my old screen saver from about 15 years ago. It's the matrix one, it's updated to work with El Capitan.

Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:

if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens

WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?

I really need to appreciate IE in so many ways. It let us to install other browsers, test crap JavaScript code and finally recommending customers to use IE to support their app.

IE ALWAYS SUCK!

The best way to write maintainable code is to imagine the next person who has to debug your code. Then imagine that they have your phone number, personal address, and your daily schedule.

Microsoft development team response:

You see .. You always have these corner cases 😂

I keep seeing all these awesome workspaces and computer setups and it just makes me hate that my dad won't let me use my work money (he has it in a savings account until I'm 18) to pay for the rest, of my computer rig I'm building, yet

I hate being a minor.

When you accidentally "-1" a rant the previous night and then have to give it a guilt "+1" when you realise

No such thing as a dumb question, but when someone asks a dumb question my go to response:

lmgtfy.com

Once, our boss asked my colleague (Android developer)

- Does Whatsapp need internet to send/receive messages!

- why can't you send apks via SMS!

now he's our ex-boss

In an all day meeting and someone just said "hail hydro" to project changes. I'm dying here. 😂😂😂

Xcode ✅
Apple Development Subscription ✅
Spare time ✅
Ideas for apps ❌

devRant should tell us who a post is by on the feed without having to click on it.

The joy of using Photoshop and Illustrator in Wine on Linux..

I would have to say the first start-up I worked with had the worst recruiters. Albeit they were seniors of mine, and not full fledged professionals, but this was pretty ridiculous.

So at the interview(which I won by winning a hackathon in college), they asked me the standard questions about my current knowledge and what I hope to achieve in the company. When they asked me my tech questions, one program that they thought was tough, I solved in 2 minutes. I was interviewing with 3 other people whom hadn't gotten the answer. Naturally I doubt myself due to the lack of answers being produced. The recruiters themselves didnt understand my answer initially. So much so that they were convinced I was wrong(at this time the others were coming up with, and submitting their answers, which the recruiters naturally expected from us). So to give me the benefit of the doubt, they whip out a laptop to run my code, and guess what? It worked, and had NOTICABLY lesser computation speed.

Needless to say I got the job, but the look on my recruiters' faces after exclaiming I was wrong, then they themselves being proven wrong? Priceless. xD

I'm already spending more time on devRant than on Twitter! Crazy... The level of addiction reminds me of that when I started to use Instagram a few years ago.