Don’t use Bootstrap

Clients website got cloned and has now demanded the right click, highlighting text should be disabled.

I can't find a pillow to scream into.

Quick tip.
Source: FB

Probably repost.
Loved this.

That sinking feeling when you use ES6/Webpack/Vue on personal projects and have to work with ES5/jQuery/Angular (and no task runner) at your regular job...

FUCK PEOPLE ON STACKOVERFLOW ANSWERING JAVASCRIPT QUESTIONS WITH FUCKIN JQUERY SOLUTIONS! IF I EVER WANT JQUERY I WILL TELL YA!

NOW GTFO AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!

FULLSTACK DEVELOPER
- A buzzword that startup companies use when they can't hire a lot of people. Multitasking all the way sucker!

margin-left: 100px;

100% Real. And it's not even the worst on the site.

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

I got a call from the recruiter today and she asked me for my current salary. When I told her, she replied "Based on your experience and skill set, that's too low".

"That's why I am looking for a job"

I cried internally 😥

Just appreciating my boss for creating an Udemy account and buying courses for us.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I'll spend the first twelve sharpening the axe. —A programmer.

Rant!!

Girlfriend call me while am at a meeting.
I mute my phone...
She calls again and again for the 3rd time back to back. I leave the meeting stating this might be important..

I answer the call...

Me: hey babe , all okay ?
She: you’re busy ?
Me: yeah sorta , tell me wassup ?
She : if you’re busy then it’s okay we can talk later
Me: it’s all right . Are you okay ?
She : yes, but if you’re busy we can talk later ..

Me :(FUCKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING FUCK WOMEN LOGIC, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS)
The above statement was said internally

Me:(in reality) you sure babe? I’ve left the meeting so I can talk..

She: nothin much I was suppose to be in your area in a couple of hours so wanted to know if you could meet

My coworker left his Windows 10 system unlocked today.

Me:

1. Print screen on desktop
2. Saves the image
3. Sets image as wallpaper
4. Hides desktop icons
5. Changes taskbar alignment to the right and enables auto hide.
6. 🤣🤣🤣

I've always wanted to build an underground bunker for storms, to hide from my unstable ex girlfriend, and lulz, so I am. The hardest part isn't the digging or the structure, it's finding a way to ensure I'll still have internet.

"The difference between SSDs and HDDs is that HDDs store data on spinning CDs inside the drive"
-- a 3rd year CS student

Spinning CDs?? CDs?!?!?

Everything is going as planned

Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.

With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.

Rough analysis of LinkedIn inmail’s I get:

Hi <5% of time, not my name>,

I was looking at your profile <97% a lie>. I was very impressed with your <10% something I’ve never done> experience working for <5% a company I’ve never heard of>. Would you be interested in hearing more about <60% a job I’m not suited for>, they offer amazing benefits and have a great culture!

... no

Oh.. So the deadline is tomorrow? How about we schedule a fucking FOUR HOUR meeting to speed things up?

Yeah, fuck you too...