"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

FULLSTACK DEVELOPER
- A buzzword that startup companies use when they can't hire a lot of people. Multitasking all the way sucker!

Wanna hear THE Worst Thing ever seen:

NOT EVEN A SINGLE SEMICOLON( ; ) IN
>200 lines of JAVA CODE.

*Blind Eyes*

Had to explain a developer from a wordpress dev agency where to find the wp-config.php file and what it does/what the values do.

This person has been doing this for years.

I looked at this config file for nearly the first time in my life.

I literally had to explain her which variables stood for/did/meant what.

I am fucking done with today.

Ibm quantum computer

She: "I am not getting anything out of these classes!!"

Me: "Try making some Objects first"

*Awkward silence*

Two unit tests, no integration tests.

Got me some stickers... Now where to fucking place them...

Code I wrote: 15kb
NPM Modules: 198Mb

A possibile interview answer

You know windows means.......

"You should use Windows server!"

It was a high security project which needed to run very stable. Even the windows sysadmin looked at that guy like 'dude what the actual fuck'.

It was between me and another guy.

I fucking won!

I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!!

I'll be a junior Linux Support Engineer in a week or so!

OMG OMG YAYAYAYAYAY

"Why are people using Git? It's too complicated. Dropbox can do the same kind of things."

- A fellow CS student at university

if(isStressedOut()) {
procrastinate();
}

meanwhile (somewhere else in the code)...

void procrastinate() {
procrastinate();
}

Aha LIT
Source- codechef

Wise words!

Can't believe this, my boss was pushing me to deploy the new mobile app version and now that its done he is traveling and didn't migrate the data that the app needs to works....

Me: “I want the AWS instance with 2TB of RAM.”

Friend: “What on earth for!?”

Me: “I need to run the Slack client and Chrome at the same time.”

So true

And it ran forever

Github

If we had a swear jar at work, I'd get a negative salary

On my way to my first job interview ever! Applying for a Linux Support Engineer position.

Let's nail this 😎

So my cousin approaches me with his Android phone and, with a worried tone, says:

- "But... is it true that if you enable the developer mode you can get arrested?"
- "What? No. Why?"
- "Because this screen says so. I once enabled them out of curiosity but then I couldn't disable it so I had to reset the phone."

Turns out that, in Italian, "arrest" is a synonym of "halt". The message says "these settings can cause the _arrest_ or malfunctioning of the device"

Couldn't stop laughing 😂

Seeing someone prototype a 3D game with complex lighting using OpenGL in a 15 minute video (It was sped up about 4x but, still, fuck me)

Using c. Not c++.

He also did 3D graphics in BASIC from scratch to explain how they work, generally.

I am So Humble!

Others: There is a hackathon soon! Participate, bro! You will do well!
Outer me: Nah, not now.
Others: Why?
Outer me: I am doing other things now. Don't have time.
Inner me: (crying) I dont have the skills to participate yet.......

One day my friend, we will all join as one!

OP!

Today was a good day. The toilet door was stuck for two hours because the lock broke. After the locksmith came and tried his best, we had to kick the door in. Fun fact: a fellow dev was stuck on the inside...