ahem…

Support has today gotten the bug report that a user cannot make phone calls from Antarctica

lol

client cto: "SOMEBODY COMPROMISED YOUR KEY!!!! IT SHOWS SOMEBODY LOGGED IN TO DEVOPS GUY'S ACCOUNT USING KALI LINUX!!!!! HERE ARE THE LOGS!!!!"

the logs: *show an ip address*

the ip address: *ip address of the office*

devops guy: *actually uses kali linux*

not really a rant, just found it funny

Deleted over 1'500 lines of code over the last 2 days and replaced it with 80 lines of readable, simple, generic code.

And I'm feeelin' gooood 🎶

A pizza is a real time pie chart of how much pizza is left.

I'll see myself out...

how to be a shitty client:
- have a legacy database where column names are misspelled and everything is nullable
- hire external help which instead of helping break the ui (bonus points for breaking the api too)
- demand a very much custom auth logic but decide to use aws cognito for shits and giggles
- demand 1hr daily meetings
- demand biometric auth with 0 knowledge of how biometric auth works (the previous devs just had a face id prompt which does nothing and retrieved email and password saved on the device???)
- message me at 2am because you don't understand how timezones work + demand a build while you're at it
- call me a "heretical pagan" because i took a day off on a holiday you don't celebrate (???)

i could go on but i think this is enough

[Blue pill]
stay in my current workplace [approaching the 10yrs mark], with an agreed salary and seniority raise, with a high probability of losing my current project [which is really fun!] in Feb next year and having to switch to another one, but keep all the benefits

[Red pill]
switch full-time to contracting with a potential to reap big bucks [x2-x4] and be free to juggle as many clients as I like, dictate my terms, become a shareholder, but lose all that warm and cozy certainty guaranteed by my current employer

Our customers are fucking incredible QA Engineers, holy fuck tits. Every single day, some fucking fuckface finds a way to break this garbage can legacy application that I've spent the last year combing over and patching as I find problems or are otherwise made aware of them.

Honestly, I have some QA background myself, but these types of issues would just absolutely never in a bajillion shitting farting years occur to me to do.

They are masters of breaking shit, I am so FUCKING IMPRESSED. Almost as impressed that this application hasn't been replaced after ten years of bullshit, and that the two massive fucking retards that preceded me didn't just do it the right way by accident or fucking kill themselves out of shame.

I'm averaging 3 hours a day outside of meetings. Mostly in 30 minute blocks.

Manager is wondering why I can't get work done...

Our company decided to buy a new platform from a third party company..but they did not pay at all at once, it was like a loan, and every month we received a new feature to integrate in our code system, after a couple of months the company stopped paying, then they decided to cut the relation and suddenly I was working 18 hours per day to build the platform that they were supposed to buy.. we were told that we had one month to finish, of course we didn’t make it, I got fired the same year :D

Is it too much to ask for a job where my boss is not an asshole?

I didn't vaccinate my 10 kids and the one that survived is fine!

If it doesn't work, it doesn't matter how fast it doesn't work.

Hiring Manager: Thanks for interviewing for the position. But the things we listed as "nice to haves" are actually required for the job so we aren't going to hire you.

A mandatory update (for security) for MS Outlook has just broken the badge indicator for new emails 🤡

It's not stupid if it works...

Raid as water

Kiki’s meme of the day

Something I learnt over the years is that it doesn't matter how fast your PC or Server is, people will produce a piece of software that will be capable of running slow on it.

I already knew that Disney was scum, but trying to use an EULA to claim immunity in a wrongful death is off the charts.

Imagine, you used WIndows once and then switched to Linux. Then Bill Gates accidentally runs you over while executing his duties at Microsoft. Well sucks for you. You agreed to some absurd terms in the Windows EULA. You waived your right to sue Microsoft for any reason. Now lets be less ridiculous. You are at a hospital and the machine that helps the doctors determine drug dose has a software bug. This software is made by Microsoft. Nope buddy, you are fucked. You used Windows once.

I realize the logic even for a lawyer was flawed, but the fact that these POS companies try this shit is so wtf. I am not even sure what to think. They are definitely not interested in your well being.

- clicks update and shutdown
- goes brush his teeth
- comes back, is welcomed by login screen

Man I love Windows

Always me

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Holy fuck, I hate the internet

Remember everyone. 5 hours of ChatGPT will always save you 5 minutes of stackoverflow

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships? So they could Scandinavian.

Today, I had new instructions at my work : report what I do
- in the redmine ticket
- in the project slack channel
- in the project manager's slack channel
- in the slack channel where there are 3 people monitoring
- face to face
- in an activity report
and this, several times a day

Can we call this micromanagement ? 🤯

I will never not laugh at this

I had a zoom meeting with a new company who came looking for ME. I did NOT look for them. I already have a job (but they pay 3-4x more than my current job).

It went well. How the fuck was this a technical interview. Guy only asked me what ive worked on so far by now. Nothing technical n shit

At the end

Hr asked me how much bands i want 💰💰💰(here we fucking go again)

I had to stall it and avoid question. The guy started rolling his eyes and turned off his webcam. The fuck is your fucking problem Bitch?

Then she said we cant move to the next 76th interview unless i say range or minimum. I don't give a fuck anymore. I said my minimum

She started writing it down and, i have never in my life seen someone disconnect a zoom call after that.

Literally hr was saying Thank u for taking the time to join the interview, the guy also said thanks, i started saying thank you for your time an- they fucking disconnected the fucking call. In the middle of my fucking sentence. I did not manage to finish my fucking sentence from how fast they disconnected.

NOW I'LL ASK FOR DOUBLE OR NOTHING AT THE END INTERVIEW DUE TO THIS BEHAVIOR. GET FUCKED

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

lol someone went systematically through my posts and downvoted each of them, i'm down like 200 points from weeks ago

imagine caring that much

"he who angers you controls you"

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡