It all makes sense now...

I'm the git master in my group for a uni project as I am the only one with some experience.
This is what I have to deal with

I hope everyone at Microsoft working on Windows 10 dies a horrible death and gets eaten by dogs. FUCK YOU windows!
I have a dual boot machine, logged into windows after a while(months) . Fucker 5 hours to update. Now that it's updated, I did the task I had to do and shifted back to Linux. Now all my other drives, which I didn't so much as touch with windows are fucking read only for some reason!

2 fucking hours spent on trying to find the problem, now I realize thag that after the fuckmaster's update, They reset all my settings and the dicklickin Fast Startup was on again!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY WINDOWS TEAM MICROSOFT! CAN'T EVEN PERSIST USER SETTINGS DURING AN UPDATE THEN HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME "ALL YOUR FILES ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU LEFT THEM".
Dear head engineer at windows team, or product manager, or whoever the fuck is in charge of this shit, JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE WITH A DILDO IN YOUR MOUTH YOU DIPSHIT!

So I leave about 300 GB of files to transfer overnight. Come back in the morning and the entire fucking transfer has been paused because there was one duplicate file and it wanted to know whether to replace it or not. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP TRANSFERRING THE REST OF THE FILES?

New ultra fast sorting algorithm!

Tabs over spaces

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix

Product requirements created by PDM be like

Thanks windows for the best error message ever

Client not paying?

Instead of reducing opacity, add FartScroll until they pay!

Theonion.github.io/fartscroll.js

My first calculator

Coding nightmare -> the guy who wrote this application I guess wanted job security? At the VERY least to be a pain in the ass to anyone else who touches his code....WHO NAMES THEIR VARIABLES PEOPLE NAMES?!?!? do I know what "Beth" or "Sarah" stand for? ummmm....no 😢

We were doing some temp work, and a girl we were working with had gone out to talk to her boyfriend on the phone.

1. Flip screen orientation 180 degress
2. Take screenshot
3. Set that as wallpaper and flip back
4. Hide icons, hide taskbar, move taskbar to far right edge
5. Invert mouse movement
6. Invert mouse buttons
7. Flip back 180 degrees, everything looks normal.

Sit back, relax and watch the show.

P.S. she gave up, we had to fix it.

Best db

Capacity : over 16777216 TB.
Well that's a huge drive :D

New colleague in the office.

Him: How do you rename a file in terminal?
Me: Just sudo rm <filename>, rm stands for ReName.

I'm a horrible person.

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

Not sure how that fitted on my 500 GB SSD.

Error: caller not found

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

Prevention..

Isn't Angular 3 coming out yet? So I can add another one to the pile of shit that I don't know.

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

LOGS
Discover the expected.
Uncover the unexpected.

Oh boy

My boss is a grumpy 25 year oldish "Mr. I know it all". We all hate him for that attitude.
Just joining recently, the code base which I got introduced to was totally new and I was overwhelmed.
Boss told me to write an Sql query to wipe the table data. I being reckless wrote a query to wipe the table only and submitted it to my boss.
Few hourse later we were informed by our peers that a certain url was not working. On further investigating we found out that my boss carelessly copy and pasted my query and executed it which wiped an important table clean.
Now he doesn't talk to me straight and I can't look him in the eye because obviously I burst into laughter.
Job well done☺️

ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

The twisted life of a software engineer

the eclipse "Dark" theme is brighter than my future

Linux is awesome. In runs on my fridge (Tizen), my TV (Tizen), my phone (Android), my watch (Android Wear), My PC (Ubuntu) and my laptop (Kali). I'm now trying to force my parents to convert to Linux.