Exactly 😂

THIS JUST IN: American colleges are dedicated to renaming "master's" degrees to "main's" degrees, following GitHub's example

I'm so glad that I got a CS degree learning Data Structures, Algorithms, Operating systems, Databases, Linear Algebra, Software Engineering, Networking and many more...

How else would I have been able to center a div with CSS or change the Background color?

What gives you the feeling of power?

A nice thread to spend some time while waiting for RDS to scale up :)

https://twitter.com/RandallKanna/...

"During this crisis, we all need to stand together. We're contributing by providing 50% off domain registrations"

"Important COVID-19 update: Social distancing is a must. Free shipping on all dildos and vibrators"

Pandemic-themed marketing emails... 😩

"Senior men have no monopoly on great ideas. Nor do creative people. Some of the best ideas come from account executives, researchers and others. Encourage this, you need all the ideas you can get." - David Ogilvy

The Electron App Experience

App name: Text editor
Requirements: 64GB Ram, 1TB storage space.

that moment when whatever you do, doesn't change the eroooooorrrrrrrr message.

凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

year 1: hoping and praying no-one asks you to do anything on the big scary command line

year 5: if I have to leave the safe haven of my terminal to use some GUI nonsense, someone's gonna pay

My mom never touched a PC or smartphone. Well, most people didn't back then, because it was the early 90s.

But I brought a borrowed SNES to the hospital and taught her to blow on the Zelda cartridge if it didn't work. She died after we finished the game.

After that my dad bought me a commodore 64, the machine that taught me about electronics and programming, and molded me into who I am today.

On the first date with my girlfriend (now 12y together) we just sat talking for hours in her room, playing Zelda on her SNES taking turns, and I told her my mom would have liked her.

Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.

Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.

Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)

Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).

These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.

Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".

The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.

What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?

Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.

Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.

But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.

So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.

On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.

In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.

This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.

It's ALIVE!!!
CNC Milling machine v0.5

Staring at cursed blinking cursors.
Repairing work of worst thinking workers
Reverse merges or it'll murder the servers, it nurtures despair
Amateur managers, dimwitted savages interrupt all of us janitors
Cleaning up damages, spills and experiments using skills in embarrassment
Explicit foulness, in a minute it's straight to the bowels with weapons of limitless vowels
A bittersweet hateful machete, eviscerates stateful spaghetti
The slow disease flowing from keys knowing it's going to please
The growing unease, no one agrees, there's no guarantees with your useless degrees
Need more drugs, keyboard's crawling with bugs, falling as I chug
A bottle of cognac gotta love all the hacks, no poise for code that lacks
All the noise, gotta relax, before I destroy the syntax.

Excuse me for not making sense.
Too gloomy, aching and tense.

Got fired.
Fuck
3 days on the job...
Told on the interview I didn't know the machine OS but I could learn in a few days...
Well they want someone with experience on that machines I don't know...

It's like asking a Javascript programmer to work with Java...

Whatever...
There are more companies

Hey guys...
So...
Today was my first day in a Molding Company (CNC operator)... IT was fine, I barely could hold on physically but I did it :D In less than two weeks I'll be operating my 3 new machines like a PRO.
But that's not the full story... I came home, my dad calls me, and has a mold drawn on paper (2D) for me to model in 3D and print... lol.
I'm proud, not just because I got a new job at first try, now just because my dad asks me to build stuff, but Also because my dad is a DIY guy with lotssss of experience... And now he's the one asking for help, opinions, how to do something...

Cnc v0.5 done.
Still needs a few fixes but I can engrave my DevRant Hello World.
Needs a bigger table (and Visor), new spindle (fried the one I bough, using a very old scarvanged for now)
You guys like?

1. The quality of the coffee and toilet paper you encounter during an interview tells you more than promises about table tennis or fruit baskets.

2. Try to determine who their primary client is: subscribers, app buyers, advertisers, etc. It's a major influence on the company dynamic.

3. Before an interview, you can just say: "I would like to sit down with a PO and run through one backlog feature and one bug, to get a feel for the type of tasks at the company". Such an activity immediately reveals team structure, whether they have product owners & scrum masters, what a sprint looks like, how they prioritize tasks, and how organized/chaotic your work experience will be.

"Design is not about innovation. Design is about communication. Innovation in design is usually a wonderful byproduct or direct result of a particular need. Design that seeks to foremost be innovative will commonly fall apart under its own stylistic girth. " - Jason Santa Maria

Today I used JavaScript. And from now on I have a PTSD.

There is nothing in the caterpillar that tells you its going to be a butterfly.

The project where I realized I wanted to go from chemist to pro dev.

I built a flow-chemistry spectrometer with monitoring backend in Haskell.

Spectroscopy is where you add a reagent to a glass tube, it changes color, and by measuring the exact color it tells you how much of something (for example, a toxin) is present in the sample.

I had to do that a lot on factory samples, writing down measurements using pen & paper.

I'm lazy so I decided to do the logical thing: Automate it. I bought a second hand spectrometer, stripped the casing, did a shitload of glassblowing and hooked up tubes to the production pipelines, so I could get samples, mixing them in the correct ratio with reagents in continuous flows using valves.

I ended up using 2 home-crafted arduino-like boards (etching PCBs is fun!).

One to calibrate the mixture against known samples and control solenoid valves to continuously cycle through various reagents and deionized flushing water, the other to record the measurements and send them to a server running a Haskell/Yesod API.

The server collected the information into InfluxDB (A time series database), displaying all data on a graphite dashboard.

Eventually I wrote Haskell plugins for most of the chemistry processes, from pH & temperature measurements to polymer property and pigment tests (they made a lot of printer ink).

Then I was fired because they didn't need chemists anymore, and the code "could be maintained by the intern" (poor guy)...

But I did find out that I loved functional programming, chemistry automation projects, and crafting my own electronics during that time.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough to be a dev! Any advise on how to shift this feeling?

solving algorithms and ds problems :-

In C++ - I hate pointers.
In Java - I miss pointers

I alias my "sudo" to "please" so I can practice being polite to my server and code more.

IoT is when your ai powered toaster is mining bitcoin to pay off its gambling debts it has with the smart fridge.

The S in IoT stands for security.

The whole nerd community be like...

i need this rn

This is gold 😂