I thought as much

My son came from kindergarten with a picture he painted. And that's what I found on the backside of the paper.

Our text book still has Windows 98.

Dear Windows update ranters,

no it's not ok that it updated without asking you.
Yes, you can avoid that, either by changing your update settings or installing a third party program that will block updates or prompt you before installing them. Tbh, it can hardly be easier and simpler than that.
Whatever you do though, and I think a lot of people will agree with me on this one, do NOT post a photo of the update screen. We've literally seen every possible variation of those, including but not limited to loss of unsaved work, inability to work on an urgent project, or just classic anger that such a critical piece of software must update itself once in a while.

We all know that such posts get hundreds of upvotes because hating on Windows is in. All the cool kids do it. However, I believe that we can all do better than that by posting quality rants.

Thanks for reading

Me: I mend shoes

At last, free from windows. :)

Firefox 57 (Quantum)

I realize I've ranted about this before, but...

Fuck APIs.

First the fact that external services can throw back 500 errors or timeouts when their maintainer did a drunk deploy (but you properly handled that using caching, workers, retry handlers, etc, right? RIGHT?)...

Then the fact that they all speak a variety of languages and dialects (Oh fuck why does that endpoint return a JSON object with int keys instead of a simple array... wait the params are separated with pipe characters? And the other endpoint uses SOAP? Fuck I need to write another wrapper class around the client...)

But the worst thing: It makes developers live in this happy imaginary universe where "malicious" is not a word.

"I found this cloud service which checks our code style" — hmm ok, they seem trustworthy. Hope they don't sell our code, but whatever.

"And look at this thing, it automatically makes database backups, just have to connect to it to DigitalOcean" — uhhh wait...

"And I just built this API client which sends these forms to be OCR processed" — Fuck... stop it... there are bank accounts numbers on those forms... Where's that API even located? What company?

* read their privacy policy *

"We can not guarantee the safety of your personal data, use at your own risk [...] we are located in Russia".

I fucking hate these millennial devs who literally fail to get their head out of the cloud.

Somehow they think it's easier to write all these NodeJS handlers and layers around some API, which probably just calls ImageMagick + Tesseract on the other side.

If I wasn't so fucking exhausted, I'd chop of their heads... but they're like hydra, you seal one privacy breach and another is waiting to be merged, these kids just keep spewing their crap into easy packages, they keep deploying shitty heroku apps... ugh.

😖

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

Leaving TODO comments in code

*Friend's phone isn't sending messages*
Me: "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
Friend: "Oh fuck off"
Me: "Well have you? just do it."
*restarts phone, it works*
Me: "funny how that happens"

This is not really a rant, but...dude.

I was browsing github for a suitable library when i found a test repo of someone. A script inside and at the top he wrote his authentication token. I first thought it was a placeholder or an example or a test he used. No. I entered the token and could control his instance of the app. I sent him a message to disable this token.

Teaching my girlfriend how to program 😊☺️

My girlfriend dumped me after I named my project after her and started getting attached to the Project. She thought I was double dating....😂

Another Ctrl joke ova here

Didn't know that Windows 10 could also predict the future !!

Why are there so many rude cunts on stack overflow?

LalaLan

New toy!

Do you write **and use** your own apps?

Show and tell :)

There are two kinds of people:
1. btn btn-default
2. btn btn-primary

Proud moment today when I actually made an hsv to rgb conversion algorithm by following a formula rather than copying code from stack overflow

FUCK THE WORDPRESS ECOSYSTEM AND FUCK THE FUCKING ONE CLICK DEPLOYMENT LIES OH YES WITH WITH BITNAMI OFFERS YOU SHIT AND FUCK YOU FUCKK YOUUUU SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU MADE ME AN ANGRY AND SICK FUCK.

How the fuck do you want people to be productive if the office is loud as a fucking bar??? 😐😑😐

A story about how a busy programmer became responsible for training interns.

So I was put in charge of a team of interns and had to teach them to work with Linux, coding (Bash, Python and JS) and networking overall.
None of the interns had any technical experience, skills, knowledge or talent.
Furthermore the task came to me as a surprise and I didn't have any training plan nor the time.

Case 0:
Intern is asked to connect to a VM, see which interfaces there are and bring up the one that's down (eth1). He shuts eth0 down and is immediately disconnected from the machine, being unable to connect remotely.

Case 1:
Intern researches Bash scripting via a weird android app and after a hour or so creates and runs this function: test(){test|test&}
He fork-bombed the VM all other interns used.

Case 2:
All interns used the same VM despite the fact that I created one for each.
They saved the same ssh address in Putty while giving it different names.

Case 3:
After explicitly explaining and demonstrating to the interns how to connect to their own VMs they all connect to the same machine and attempt to create file systems, map them and etc. One intern keeps running "shutdown -r" in order to test the delay flag, which he never even included.

Case 4:
All of the interns still somehow connect to the same VM despite me manually configuring their Putty "favorites". Apparently they copy-paste a dns that one of them sent to the entire team via mail. He also learned about the wall command and keeps scaring his team members with fake warnings. A female intern actually asked me "how does the screen knows what I look like?!". This after she got a wall message telling her to eat less because she gained weight.

Case 5:
The most motivated intern ran "rm -rf" from his /etc directory.
P.S. All other interns got disconnected because they still keep using his VM.

Case 6:
While giving them a presentation about cryptography and explaining how SSH (that they've been using for the past two weeks) works an intern asked "So is this like Gmail?".
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if he meant the authorization process. He replied with a stupid smile "No! I mean that it can send things!".

FML. I have a huge project to finish and have to babysit these art majors who decided to earn "ezy cash many" in hightech.

Adventures will be continued.

password: &^/&($@$45':;;&$#rdf$/^df%%£×€ybh1##/*(;

error: you password isnt safe u must use at least one uppercase letter
:/

Am I wrong?!

The best co-workers for me !?
1- devRant
2- Stack Overflow
3- google

Yeah, you thought it right! This one aims for the stress ball...Come on devRants, I have faith in you!

Is it just me or do others also think programmer jokes like "...converts caffeine and pizza into software" and similar to be fucking annoying?