Oh so you are a programmer huh? Can you copy photos from my phone to my laptop?
FML

That rant 😂

var self = this;

!important
!important
!important
!important
!important

Everywhere.

- - What do you do for living?
- I am a programmer.
- - So you can hack a Facebook account?
- *bleeding inside*

Oops!

Teacher: What is recursion?

Me: This https://www.devrant.io/rants/533667

My friend said an intern designed this UI for an internal site.

No. Just... no

My friend just started RUBY.
He read somewhere " Ruby is used commonly in rails ".

He now thinks RUBY is for programming trains and station related stuff.

At a party.
Everyone dancing like crazy.
And I'm here devRanting.

That feeling of accomplishment when your code runs and you are the only person who knows that you copied the main parts from Stackoverflow.

Showering at a geeks house!

Everyone here ranting about a fucking missing semicolon. I can't remember the last time a missing semicolon was the issue...

You wanna know what's REALLY BALL-BUSTING????

WHEN THE FUCKING 10 y/o LEGACY CODEBASE, CODED BY FUCKING PHP WORDPRESS SCRIPTERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD BUILD AN ENTERPRISE SHIT CAUSE ZF2 "LOOKS EASY" AND THEN FILL IT UP WITH SPAGHETTI, IS SO BAD WRITTEN THAT IN ORDER FOR THE PAGE TO RENDER YOU ACTUALLY ****HAVE**** TO DISABLE ERROR REPORTING SO WHENEVER A FUCKING ERROR HAPPENS ON THE TEMPLATE RENDER COMPONENT OF ZEND FRAMESHIT 2, YOU'RE LEFT WITH A FUCKING BLANK PAGE AND NOTHING IS LOGGED TO THE LOG FILE, SO YOUR ONLY OPTION IS DIE() DEBUGGING LINE BY LINE ON THE 1300 LINES PHTML FUCKFEST OF A VIEW THEY HAVE.

MISSING SEMICOLON? YES PLEASE, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT SHIT

SORRY JUST NEED TO RANT.....

JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE/WEBCHAT WITH SHITTY HR BLOCK CUZ THEIR SHITTY PAID SOFTWARE IS BUILT WITHOUT THE USER IN MIND AND NOW EFILED MY TAXES INCORRECTLY...

THEY CANT FIX IT SINCE ITS ALREQDY SENT TO THE IRS....

I SPENT 2 HOURS TRYING TO CONTACT A HUMAN BECAUSE THEIR WEBCHAT IS SUPER HIDDEN ON THEIR SHITTILY BUILT SITE THAT HIDES IT UNTIL I HAVE TO CALL THEIR PHONE NUMBER AND THE GUY WALKS ME THROUGH SOME SPECIFIC STEPS TO GET IT TO SHOW UP!!!!!!!!!

THEN WEBCHAT GUY ASKS FOR ALL MY INFO BUT THEN CONCLUDES THAT I NEED TO CALL THE IRS MYSELF BECAUSE THEIR SHITTY SOFTWARE ALREADY SENT THE INFO.... THE WRONG INFO....

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I OWE THE GOVERMENT $2500..... ALL THIS JUST TO PAY PPL MONEY.... FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK....

AND THERE GOES MY WHOLE NIGHT.....

This shit is real. Entertainment in traffic xD

You know what makes sense? Having a reCAPTCHA on a REST API.

On highschool I took a special major in which we learned various computer and mathematics skills such as neural networks, fractals, etc.
One of the teachers there, which for me was also a mentor, is a physician. He taught us python which he didn't know very well (he wasn't that bad either) and science which was his true passion.
My end project was to try to predict stocks market using a simple neural network and daily graphs of 50 NSDQ companies. The result reached 51% prediction on average which was awful, but I couldn't forget the happinness and curiosity working on this project made me feel.
Now, 5 years later, I have a Bsc and finishing a Msc in Computer Science, and would sincerely want to thank this mentor for giving me the guts and will to accomplish this.

I REALLY don't believe you, Microsoft.

Well he did the right thing

Client reads about MomgoDB ransomware attacks online.

Him: I heard that the MongoDB is not secure, we should use something else in our system.
Me: Those databases got attacked because security features were turned off. If you want you can have an external security team to test the system when it's done.
Him: I don't wana take any risk, so I we should use something else.

We have been working on this system for almost a year and the final stage was supposed to be delivered in a month.

He wants me to replace it with MySQL

Shortest Programmer Joke:

I'll be done soon!

Couldn't agree more

Who will try it? :-D

Salary negotiation

This feeling is good

Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me:

Ask for one more change, I dare you, I double dare you mofucker!

console.log(this) every day...

Not again...

How to get fired (no pun intended)