My first dev job was in visual basic.. As an unpaid intern and also no bonuses anything.

"Oh, you're a developer? Then you cannot fix my PC", said no relative ever.

Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other.....
The NSA will finally read it

First day on the job. Here is your machine. Here is the code. It's crashing. It's in production. We tried to fix it and can't. You fix it. No pressure... took two days too fix it. Felt like a legend. Addicted ever since.

My software never has bugs.
It just develops new features.

My first job was at a web agency. Non tech background, trying to transition into tech through frontend. Month 1: graphic designer, month 2: CSS guy, month 3: UI guy, month 4: in the frontend team doing react, month 7: leading the team, also doing some rails backend, month 9: full stack, month 11: leading web team.

How? Everyone else in the dev team left at month 7 lol. Literally thrown into the middle of the rainforest, fighting bugs by myself. But became so good at debugging and learning on the spot. Left at month 12 for a better job.

#firstdevjob
printed "hello world!" when I was 14
and the journey began...

Technically the first things I received money for were some android apps I published in the Google Play Store. They were icon packs that I created the icons for and mimicked someone's android project. After that created some of my own android apps. First paid career job, hired 2 years ago for java web developer at a health insurance company. I still like it, very appreciated here.

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.

Give a man teh codez, and he eats for a day. Congrats, you fed a help vampire.

Teach a man teh codez, and you open up to him the wonderful world of tabs vs spaces, dependency hell, emacs vs vim, being everybody's personal tech support, Linux vs Windows, legacy code, stack overflow, language wars, terrible documentation, functional vs oop, and arguments about what the best indentation style is. Forget about eating, production's down.

Junior dev: Can I run lint on your codebase
Senior dev: hmmm
Jdev: Its a very nice code inspection tool
Sdev: Go ahead
Jdev: wow 50 errors
Sdev:

Personal project coding cycle:

- Because to many libs, too many ways, to many choices

Noob mistake, forgot the rename an HTML file to a .php file; was wondering why things weren't working at all.

Ah.. so that's how he makes the comics in color now.

So, I just discovered this thingo.

#HelloWorldRant

I miss the good old days...

I had a CS teacher that could barely find the power button. She never gave any sort of instruction or guidance. We were supposed to be learning how to code,but played Oregon Trail instead.

Fuck you, insomnia.. You're a bastard.

/(o.o)\

That's it, I don't have enough energy for more. Pretty sure this "sleep every second night" pattern is involved somehow though...

Found this in my office door this morning...

After hearing to hundreds of "just this last small change" , i told my client that he was a "chutiya" and he sent a link to this saying he had not intention of driving in India.😎😎

Object oriented thinking.

A boy tries to look at girl in a class.

Girl : It's bad manners.
Boy : No it's not. "MEMBERS OF THE SAME CLASS CAN ACCESS PRIVATE DATA".

Sometimes when I'm writing Javascript I want to throw up my hands and say "this is bullshit!" but I can never remember what "this" refers to

#oldbutgold

Switching between a programming language with semicolons and one without.

Hello errors!

OK, I've been using Ubuntu Linux for 5 years now, and I had to leave a Dell Linux for Mac today in Office.

Am I the only one who thinks Mac OS sucks!
Fine they have the best hardware, but Mac OS is slightly disappointing.

Is this true?

Since when was 45 minutes a 'quick' stand-up morning meeting.

When someone sees you code

The person who wrote this deserves an award.

Our programming teacher showed us some parts if his code the other day. When I asked him why he got an empty if-block in there he responded with "cause I only need the else-block"

Database concepts at Uni, teacher could barely speak English, after numerous requests to repeat what they were saying, teacher yelled at us in some other language and stormed out... Didnt bother going back to another lecture. Got a HD.

So sick of this one client. But why this but why that... it gets to the point of "because of technical shit you wouldn't understand". If you're so fucking interested in how your shit works, learn to build it yourself.