It was 1999. I was just starting my first real job as a programmer for a major insurance company. We were working on code that would screen scrape legacy mainframe data output and convert it to a web-based UI. REALLY stupid project approach I had no input on. I happened to find a programmer in Germany who had released his code in the public domain that would help with making a certain conversion task easier. I downloaded his code and put it to work.

During a code review, a programmer who was probably about 60 asked me where I got the code and what it was doing. I didn't even get to the part about what it was doing because he made fun of me so badly, in a fake German accent in front of a room full of non-programmers, for using code that today is no big deal due to the prevalence of open source. I just clammed up in humiliation because he got everyone laughing at me. His philosophy was if we didn't buy it or write it ourselves, we had no business using it.

I guess I was just ahead of my time?

Just me, explaining how my code works.

Just use !important

"Just try and move your workflow to Windows, it's not that different from Linux"

My boss, when I asked him if I could install Arch on my company laptop

Somehow I feel like I personally owe Linus for git.

17:50 Colleague whispers "fuck" and the entire project we've worked on for the last half year responds with 404.

17:55 A quick diagnosis shows that she wrote "rm - rf ../" instead of "./" when she threw out her staging dir an thereby deleted everything.

17:58 git pull, everything is back.

18:15 everything is configured and we're up and running again.

**Alternative Timeline without Version control **

17:58 We start looking through Backup folders

18:20 We're fairly confident to have found the most up to date Backup in /var/backup/newback/v2/june/new/released/ and start copying back into the project directory.

19:30 Some files are missing we start patching shit up.

19:40 I realize how much work went down the drain and start strangling my colleague. The Api seems to do the most important things again.

20:00 My colleagues dead body is hidden and I'm 80% confident that the tasks depending on us should run.

Next day: They didn't run. Every nightly build failed, nobody can do anything useful.

A week later : Shits starting to work again, all lost files are replaced. Replacement for dead colleague still missing though.

It's moments like this that make you really appreciate the luxurys we have nowadays...

*tries not to cry*
*cries a lot*

Is it weird that whenever a slightly dodgy site asks for my address, I give the address of the prime minister:

10 Downing Street
Westminster, London
SW1A 1AA, UK

For the love of Arch Linux 😍😍😍

current state:

I code using Vim to avoid memory leaks.
Nothing leaks outside Vim. Nothing ever leaves.

Creating porn websites.

I'm a simple man

Do nothing. Get paid.

“That regex almost worked, lemme just tweak it a bit–”
*2 hours later*
“Fuck it we’re processing strings character by character with a while loop like granddad did.”

I feel sorry for the owner of test@test.com

Definitely not malware!

A convo with my !dev colleague.

Her: Can i use your PC for a while?
Me: Yeah sure.
Her: Why is this so wierd? Why i can't refresh?
Me: It's Ubuntu.
Her: Man, this sucks, you should use windows 10, it's the latest!
End of Convo.

After that day, i heard her talking to my other colleague.

Her: "Go ask him. The one with the weird PC."
--------------------

SHOULD I KILL HER?

Never thought I'd have so much in common with a layout

"Look it's people"

Aww Adobe😝

Just printed "Hello World", time to put Python on my resume! 😎

Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary

Linux pople be like

Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime. — David Leinweber

"If you design something to be idiot proof, the universe will design a better idiot."

Our life story explained 😂 !

One that doesn't involve clients

A job where WordPress is illegal

Well for starter an actual dev job could be nice

My ideal dev job would be one where I don't get chewed out for using vim.

Me and my wife are software engineers
Started dating while doing a project together
I guess you could say that we...
MERGED WITHOUT CONFLICTS