Literally can't afford to sleep less than 6 hours two nights in a row. If I do, like I did last night, my dumb tired sleepwalking ass will just turn off my two alarms and be late for work by like an hour.

How does something like this happen? I have no recollection of waking up even briefly to turn off my alarms but I know I wouldn't sleep in consciously on a work day, so whom can I even blame?

It's not really sleep walking. Happened to me a couple of times and I've seen it happen to a classmate when we were on a trip and slept in the same cabin. He literally woke up, found his phone, turned off the alarm when it rang and went back to sleep. Once he was up he complained that his alarm didn't ring and had no recollection of it happening.

Though this only happens, at least in my case, when I don't get enough sleep. I mean some serious sleep deprivation when several days in a row I only slept 4-5 hours. The way to fix this is:

1. make sure you get enough sleep every night (7-8 hours)

2. wake up at the same time every morning (even on weekends)

3. keep your blinds open during night, so sunlight wakes you up, it blocks melatonin production and you can't turn off sunlight by accident:P

Ideally you should be waking up before your alarm rings automatically. Alarm clocks are harmful to healthy sleep.

if you dont sleep at all u will shine in the morning

Your test of the emergency brain protection system was successful. It successfully prevented you from not getting even the minimum required sleep defined for short-lived emergency situations when you literally where too stupid to acknowledge the existence of basic physical human needs.

For your own safety, please avoid deliberately holding your breath until suffocation.