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kiki352173yI can’t work, my brain construction doesn’t like the fact that I actually need money to by food, and, you know, live, and instead is busy with immaculately capturing every fucking byte of what my eyes see, my ears hear, and processing the shit out of it while also autogenerating awkward social scenarios that will never happen and forcing me to think about them over and over while coming up with “solutions” until another ptsd flashback accidentally encountered while associations chain was followed turns me into a scared kitten crying under my desk. It’s not that bad, it says, kittens have fangs so they’re cool, but it doesn’t matter if I can win now or not, because some weird social situation from 2008 I didn’t, and it’s apparently really fucking important to rethink it again and again and again coming up with solutions that will never work, because every solution I find ultimately results in my defeat, as that’s the only thing I experienced back then.
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bioDan61593y@kiki i hope you get well and things will look better for you soon. Life is a struggle, be strong. If you lost your conscience, get help and regain it. Save yourself from yourself, good people are needed everywhere.
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rant
wk306