I regret learning so much.
Now I understand why professors are so sad.
Having good understanding of the universe and everything is just depressing.
If you want to be happy dont pursue science. Ever.

@NoMad
Second semester university.
Electronic and computer enginieering in english.

Does the education level even matter? I have learned much more myself anyway.

But science!

@Gregozor2121 That's interesting. I'm curious. Why do you find it depressing? It's quite exhilarating to me, especially learning fundamental stuff.

Wait until you know enough about science to understand which kinds of questions it can even ask meaningfully, and which ones it can't.

The issue is that it probably takes a lifetime to understand life.

Ignorance is a bliss...

That applies to life as well. If you start thinking too much, you can lose self.

And age doesn't have much to do with it. Some people had it bad since early years. Life experience doesn't change anything when one's got an existential crisis.

I've spent half my live with depression (evolved into anxiety/panic disorder with executive dysfunction) and I'm in my freaking 20s...

Smart people dont need to publicly announce their smartness

@NoMad you are asking me to abandon the very essence of my being

I don‘t see how 2 semesters of engineering could put someone in a state you are describing, let alone that I don‘t see how knowledge about physics can do that anyway. I guess that‘s just you recursively overthinking stuff.

@possum You know little of people who are depressed. Some people were depressed before uni and uni just made them realise it and sink even lower.

E.g. If someone has been pushed to do things, their hobbies killed "for their own good" (e.g. toxic family, controlling parents), one may realise then (at uni, after living some time on their own) that they just do things because they do things. That they have no dreams.

@haze This is not at all the point of this discussion, but thanks for the stupid allegations anyway.

@possum So far it was "2 semesters at uni can't make you depressed" and "you don't know life yet".
I already said that ignorance is a bliss and all that.
Yet you're still at "2 semesters at uni can't make you depressed", pointing out only time, not the things that may have happened then.

Rates of depression and suicidal thoughts are higher for people in STEM than for general population. That's a fact.
If you don't trust people explaining *how* it can happen, trust statistics that it *does* happen a lot.

@haze You're inventing part of the quotes and misunderstand me on purpose, I don't see why I should put anymore time in talking to you.

Yeah, quotes that are not here...

"I'm at 2nd semester. But does education level matter?" - "I'll quote Ygritte: you know nothing"

And Possum's "I doubt 2 semesters would do that" is just above my comment.

Yes, I'm rephrasing, not quoting, because I'm on the go and doesn't want to spend much time copying and formatting others' comments. But tell me again how your condenscence isn't there and doesn't say that. :eyeroll:

And you know you can block me, right?

@haze
Top 11 highest suicide rate jobs: https://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/...

6/11 of them are stem fields, considering the ratio of stem:other fields in universities, this is about balanced, only proving that jobs requiring higher education are stressing (how surprising huh)

@Jilano what the fuck is "the place" you wanna get hit in the face huh?

Universe is nothing compared to multi universe.

Well, I feel like science is the only thing interesting in life so... it's subjective.

@Nanos https://youtube.com/watch/...

but it's actually also the social stuff that can make you misanthropic - at some point I think you even need to become some kind of cynic to still uphold your ideals.

@rutee07 I got a quote for you:
"The purpose of life is not to be happy.
It is to be useful, to be honorable,
to be compassionate,
to have it make some difference
that you have lived and lived well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson"

I hope everybody there will read this.

1. I know that i dont know everything, knowing everything is impossible.
2. You dont have to know much in order to know how universe works.
You only have to know that science can explain everything, how machines, space objects and humans work.
3. Pair that with the fact that entrophy is everywhere can causes countries, cities, stars to dissolve...
4. And that the humans are just machines following simple patterns where the most important one is to replicate DNA and memes. Groups of people follow similar trends, behave similary but everyone is different due to random effects of the universe.
There go humanity and universe explained in one comment.
5. Gatekeeping depression? I was worried that people will call me a crybaby, a trendy bitch. But after years of slow decline lazyness became a bit more severe where i dont have the energy to even make myself food everyday and do anything that a normal human need to do to decently live.

And what is the worse thing about it? That from my estimates i will get booted from the uni in the state where i cant do anything and nobody can help me, because they dont care or are too stupid. My fate is nearly sealed, there is a chance that i will recover but the bigger the change required the smaller the chance.
Natural selection will again win. Even if i was more inteligent (i dont think im), being suseptible to depression will cause my genes and memes to dissapear in the entrophy. Maybe other people in the future will succeed.

@Gregozor2121 if science can explain everything, then explain scientifically why you're unhappy with that. And see whether it that changes something. If not, think about that.

@Fast-Nop
I have realised what factors caused my condition but i cant influence my unconcious side of the brain to stop worring, being scared, at random intervals.
One of the solutions can be to go to the therapist but there is some illogical in me doubt that they could help me.
I feel like my brain is fighting with itself. If i could only overpower it with my logical side i wouldnt have that condition but i think i would be a machine as well.

@oreru
People on stages always have bigger influence than random people on the internet. If that ted talk inspired you then great, you are a human being that will succeed in that world. I have watched that ted talk just now. It didnt impress me. If i were in a different state then yes it would. Because I still remember when i was a human being capable of enjoying life fully.

@Nanos
In spite of me being in that shitty condition im still trying on improving my situation. I know what i have to do in order to improve, i have thought that im able to acheve that but i was mistaken. Through years i have failed again and again after those experiences i realised that i didnt need to improve much to get out of that but still i even couldnt manage that.

That small idea, need of getting out of that situation is the only human thing that i have retained.

@Nanos
As i said, from my predictions i will perish. I will be purged as a failed experiment of nature. What will happen in the long run cant be predicted with good accuracity. On every step there is a chance of mutation, change. Maybe for good...
Maybe i just need a good change... Maybe i just need time.

About the self destruct:
People have those to prevent illnesses from spreading, just like a collective immune systems. They might not only work for pathogens but for negative memes to keep them from spreading in the population. This is one of possible hypothesis. I just thought of that.

@Gregozor2121
Read about CBT - cognitive-behavioural therapy.
It helps the bad part of the brain shut up (methods to ignore it, distract it etc) and rationalise thoughts.
Doesn't help with the root of the problem but helps avoiding vicious cycle of thoughts that make you sink.

I cannot offer much other help because I'm no specialist, only someone in similar situation. Unless you just want to talk about stuff - that's one thing I can help with.

@Nanos yes everything tries to fuck you ...but it's not personal. As Al Pacino said in the GodFather explaining how he needs to kill 2 persons:

"It's not personal Sonny, it's strictly business"
https://youtube.com/watch/...

@Gregozor2121 yes, and from my point of view happiness is the ability to forget all that for a moment and enjoy nevertheless. Hide away from learning could be a short term strategy to happiness and could work.
People that choose a learning path, it's because they enjoy learning even if what they learn could be sad.

@ITWT - That chart will become legendary. lol