What would be a funny name for intranet tool ?

Sepsis.

By definition intranets can't be funny.
It must have the usability of the 90ties, the looks of 2005 and consists of content that yells at you that you're a lousy coworker. All insultingly illustrated by heinous word art. So please don't try something new or else a wormhole will open and the time continuum will be damaged. Than you!

Hal

NSA's network

Tooly McToolface