I'm studying for exams and cannot dedicate much time at all to programming, learning new stuff, or personal projects.

Can't wait to re-open an IDE !

Weekend True Story

" I want to show you my playroom "

"You want to play to your xbox ? "

" No . . . "

[50 shades of C]

This is workstation setup.
Put icebags in the closet to have mainframe cooled setup.

Unluckily not me

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This could be an exponential rant generator.

Guess my colleague who leaves his PC without lockscreen will have SO MUCH FUCKISH FUN . . .

Welcome to Scienceland

TL;DR
I signed in at a few sites like freelancer.com , you did it you understand this nightmarish post.

for every fucking job, there was a full team of fucking lowcostshitters that took it for 0,50 $ . When I say this number, I mean it literally.

Translations
Data Entry
Ios app
Android app
Java
Python
Websites
Games
Scripts
System Manager
DB creation
Porting
...

And if you think this was the only nightmarish thing, you have to check the jobs descriptions and their spec.

You'll loose your sleep for sure.

I really hope to not be into desperate needing of the squishy ball.
Because even if I buy it, i will probably kill somebody in the expedition time.

Please 2018 be a lowstress-year
Please

Fucking teammate who did not know how to read/write a simple class diagram.
We warned him that he have to study or we just kick his fucking ass out of the team.

He just did nothing. When we had meetings he just stayed at home pretending to have an heart issue needing surgery.
After just 2-3 days he was tagged on FB in a photo shooted a few days earlier where he was riding a bike for a competition.

He skipped another scheduled-a-fucking-week-before meeting saying that he was on a surprise trip, when I called him 5 minutes before meeting start.

In the end we just kick him out because he did nothing. He went to professor talking about some relationship problem in the team and asked him if he could continue the project by himself just forking the ours.

Professor said HELL NO SON OF A BITCH.

But our team learned a precious lesson : choose your team carefully.

Quality Ranting Recognising Algorithm 😂

From reddit 😂😂😂

Mom : there's a letter for you. It's from USA. Are you in trouble ?

Me : oooouh shit what have I done ?

Fiuuuuu..NSA still not tracking my buggy code 😂

Not me, I would thank devrant of course !

Microsucks

I'm going to learn "The Pomodoro Technique".

++ if you used it successfully

Junior dev : i found the bug !

Senior dev : i found a bug !

University, Italy
We have sent our code to the professor for correction.

Professor : Who wrote the code with comments in english?

Proud student : me !

Professor : you failed to write the algorithms, and also made mistakes with a lot of English words.

F U C K I N G
P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N

Be carefull

I hope this was made on purpose 😂

@donnico saw your rant about that "perfect code" and remembered of this 😀

That's nice 😀

It is the JVM

It's magic!

<<ABRA CADABRA !>>

Android

( SHITFUCKER FUCKING SON OF A MOTHERFUCKER ASSRIPPED BITCH)

Studio

Me : "Ok i've to choose carefully my partner for this project. That guy over here seems nice. He did ask a lot of questions to the professor and he never missed a lesson. I should totally ask him to work on this together.

A few later...

Me: "Ok so we don't live near each other, i guess using a control version system like subversion or git can solve this problem."

Him: "Control version system ? What's that ? I've never heard of git or subversion."

MY BRAIN: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUH SHEEEEEEEEEIIIITT ! ! ! !"

!rant (all ranters should read)

Today I was at university, doing some C low-level stuff. Then I looked my Professor.

Holy fucking shit, this man (and obviously the others) learned programming without google, stackoverflow, youtube and online doc/forum/examples/explanation.
I also believe that some of them could not compile and run at home their software.

MASSIVE RESPECT FOR YOU ALL !

"Enigma machine kep private the communications done by Nazi. It was a really difficult code to break because it changed each day. There was a man in England, Alan Turing, who broke it. He's nowadays known as one of the fathers of the Computer Science. I will show in the next lessons how you can simulate Enigma coder just with an easy C program of 60-70 lines. In the WW2 this was considered a military-level safe code. Thanks to mathematicians, computer scientist and analyst and thanks to their work in the last 60 year, you have access to a systems of several orders of magnitude more efficient and secure when you buy a videogame online."
That really fucking inspired me.