64
gruhn
7y

Last weekend I witnessed the most infected computer I have ever seen in my life...

I went on a private party. A girl had her laptop plugged to the speakers to play some music. This thing was literally 99% cancer. The first thing I noticed, when I looked at her opened browser, was that nearly half the screen was taken by toolbars. Also any popular website you could visit had additional ads INJECTED into it. The fist 10 YouTube search results: always porn. No idea how that didn't make her suspicious.

Precisely every 10th click (anywhere not only in the browser) would open up a window with either more ads or an aggressively blinking message saying: "A virus has been detected on your machine. Click here to download our antivirus programm. You have 60 seconds left before your firewall breaks!!!".

Also physically this device was on the edge of completely broken. The power supply had to be taped to the socket because it was so loose. Every little jiggle would immediatly shut the system down and Windows had to be completely reinstalled (which of course didn't solved any of the "software issues").

First I wanted to use that laptop to show some friends a new web project of mine but this thing probably would have DDoSed the shit out of my recently finished work or something.

I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry...

Comments
  • 13
    @runfrodorun I really regret I haven't taken any pictures. I hope she doesn't fix it (if this is possible) until I see her next time
  • 10
    @runfrodorun hey! It has gotten more secure! The ads are baked right into the OS now so you don't need the additional STD toolbars to add them for you. ;)
  • 12
    Petrol... petrol and a lighter is the only cure.

    I hope she never buys anything on the laptop... it's probably pissing her keystrokes all over the web.
  • 2
    Sadly, I would recommend her to buy a Mac. At least then she would be infected without it being so blatantly obvious!
  • 1
    had the same problem with my Windows. Downloaded a Linux, never had the same problem again.
  • 3
    You should have showed mercy and destroyed that laptop. I feel sorry for its processor having to deal with all that shit on her OS :/
  • 6
    @RiderExMachina hell yeayuh... no viruses son! No viruses! *disclaimer: that you can see, enjoy trying to click around the web*

    @ac1235 mother fucker, do you think someone who's riddled their browser with STDs can handle a distro? Without complaining and bitching at you every 5 minutes for "putting that crap on my computer"?

    >where's the start button?
    >how do I close this window?
    >why is it orange?
    >where are the real backgrounds? (She means the puppies, kittens and pictures)
    >why can't I install [violent STD toolbar]?
    >how do I play my movies?
    >where is iTunes!?
    >where is Spotify!?
    >where is word!? I need that for work, it's super important! No I don't want this fake word! Damn 3rd world country, lie-bray? What the hell is that? Did Mexicans write it? They're going to steal my work? My work is so important! How could you risk my work by making me use some Mexican fake word!? You're a terrible friend, I'm just going to go to [pc world, Best Buy?] and buy a new laptop. You're not allowed near it, you know nothing about computers and security with your Mexican word. I think you should pay for my new laptop because you broke this one!

    </rant>
  • 0
    @jmacmi2 most likely you are right.
    However I riddled my browser and can handle a distro, so yes, I really think that someone like me can handle it, because I can handle it.
    All other things being equal, of course.
  • 1
    @jmacmi2
    This is one of the reasons I hardly recommend Linux unless the person is fairly computer savvy
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