Client: Do you know how to make this WordPress faster?
Me: yup.

* 30 minutes later*

Me: *googles* "How to make WordPress faster"

Hahaha we've all done it

Step 1: pay more than £1 a month for hosting

I would use that only after the hell is frozen. My hint is to tell them to use something developed to their needs and of course you can do it for a reasonable price (just stats and no specific technologies because all clients subclassed as thiefs when it comes to technology)

@robzombie111 You got me in a loop I typed "learn how harry made his wordpress faster with one simple trick" your result is the top one so I clicked it, and been doing this for the last hour...

@robzombie111 Holy shit, it's so fast now!

Uninstall all the shitty slow plugins (especially social media crap). There, Wordpress is fast now.

Upgrade to PHP 7. Done.