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 "I wrote the code, I have to maintain the code, I wont need any comments" 
*some months later*
"I wrote the code, I have to maintain the code, I wont need any comments" 
*some months later*
 Code comments be like....
Code comments be like....
Your favourite comment?
My team was working on a legacy system, one part of it is an assistant, sadly required as global variables.
Being a non-english-first-language company, some dev years ago thought shortening said assistant to "ass" would be a wise idea - less to type, right?
When we redid the application 2016 part-by-part, our code needed to define 3-4 global variables starting with the "ass" prefix for the legacy parts to work. The colleague who was tasked with this is a fine gentleman from England.
Later as I read through the commit, I found 5 lines of code following 20 lines of comments explaining and deeply apologizing for "ass", "ass_open", etc.
The same dev also had a "HACK OF THE YEAR" comment he moved around when time constraints made a less-than-optimal fix necessary which was worse than the last "highscore".
undefined
comments
ass
hack of the year