Tell me the classics you never get tired of. I'll start.

User message / report: "there is an error". With absolutely nothing else written or attached.

"OOPSIE WOOPSIE WE MADE A MISTAKE UWU LOL"

“There is an error” at least is something. My all-time favorite is “This doesn't work”.

"Whatever you've just done wrecked the system mate."

Error Code : 1

@Marl3x Extra points if you haven't done anything to it for months.

Instructions in email subject, empty body.

Respond by email:
title: yes
body:

"Oops, something went wrong!" ... and you are invited to click 'OK' . It_is_really_not_okay. I've seen this so often I've been wondering which standard framework it comes with - anyone know?

Subject: it's broken
Body: I tried to open a ticket but it needed a priority and it wouldn't submit without one. Now all my content I spent the last hour writing is gone.

Can you find what I wrote and create the ticket for me?

--find the content in the logs--

Content: unable to create a ticket without a priority, please allow tickets to be created without priority.

😡🤬😤😳🤯🤡

“Program errored successfully”

"User cannot access application"

And that's it.

Uhh, ok... so, are they getting a specific error? Did you get a screenshot? Did they try resetting their password? (which is the user access equivalent of "turn it off and on again" around here) Did you direct them to clear cache, since you've been told to pretty much ALWAYS try that first for ANY issue?

Oh, and let's start with: are we talking about Dev, Test, QA or Prod?!

@Earu

There's a special place in hell for those returning 200 {"error":"something went wrong"} in their APIs.

I actually got that a few times - didn't need any more information from the user as the log contained everything i needed to know. Users are bad witnesses anyways...

Make your logs count!

Can you do it yesterday?

"But it works on my machine!1!!"

“Do you wish to do this?” [OK] [Cancel]

@Platypus Or, even better: "Do you want to cancel?" [Ok] [Cancel]