I don't know if on the outside it seems like I know my shit and I know what I'm doing or not, but on the inside, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I'm just going with my gut and hoping for the best and I don't know if people are actually falling for that or not.

Imposter syndrome is so very common that it is a way of life

wait hold on, i have a couple things to say about this:

1) don't worry too much about other peoples' perception of you, it isn't important when you're looking to make rational decisions.
2) when it comes down to making decisions, don't listen to your gut all the time, you need to *think* about it. you need to find a plan and create steps to achieve it.
3) if you're clueless, you need a vision or idea of what you want for yourself.
4) if you're absolutely unsure, you need to start with having larger goals and slowly breaking them into chunks.
5) you need to know yourself at least a little well to know what you are and aren't ok with. if you aren't, that's a problem and should be fixed, and you need to discover who you are - what your wants and dislikes are, what you will and will not "tolerate", etc.

Sometimes thoughts are very toxic.

Gut feeling is one possibility to overcome this... Just follow it blindly, it cannot be worse than what your thoughts try to tell you will happen.

Rituals. I love rituals. Whenever I feel like I hit a wall with 200 km/h and instant crash, I'll turn off the monitor, grind some coffee beans, make a fresh pot.

It calms me down. Smelling fresh grinded coffee is heaven.

... Or i just randomly start screaming or cursing in several languages.

Whatever helps, do it. Judgment and doubt doesn't help, it just leads to a spirale of doom.