What's a database? Oh, uh... Think, like, a spreadsheet -- but it makes you wanna kill yourself even harder.

Given that you shoot in your legs, yes.

i think databases are alot easier without learning stupid methods Microsoft forces on exel

Yup.
A two column spreadsheet where column A has unique numbers, and B has a random JSON in it.

our DBA works with an Orcale database made by the main vendor they use for their services. The tables and different dbs inside of that thing scare the ever living shit out of me.

I do like working with databases, but the complexity and seemingly endless series of weird column and table names scare me