Someone please explain to me how error messages such as
"Something went wrong" or "Critical error" are valid and provide little to no follow up explanation in the GUI, Logs, or client logs.

I get that not all error cases can be displayed on a GUI, but at least have decent error handling. Especially if your $8+ billion company.

Well they should at least provide a trace id or something that can be handed off to support team or dev if it keeps happening. The reason behind the vagueness of the error message is probably because its either the default for unhandled errors or they dont want you to know the details since it might reveal things the company would rather others not know such as their stack and whatnot