35
Root
3y

!dev

Tired, went to bed early. Took two melatonin because I haven’t been sleeping well. Layed down at 9:30pm, tried to sleep for hours, couldn’t, and ended up feeling wide awake at like 11:30. Memories of my parents and their endless shit resurfaced and flooded into my mind, and made me various combinations of livid and sad and distraught. Got up and sat in the closet at 2am to try and clear my head, and eventually gave up and started my work day at 2:45. Got quite a bit done, and it cleared my head. Yay!

But it’s now 6:25am and I have standup at 10:30, and a day full of meetings. :<

… and plenty of memories I would very much rather not remember.

Comments
  • 4
    @halliFacks Thanks! 🧡

    I plan on taking a nap between meetings, and maybe a walk after. I already put in a few hours today, so maybe I’ll leave early and take that walk.
  • 3
    Errr... Weed?
    Helps specialy if you get suicide thoughts.
  • 1
    I exercised my ass off last night and now I’m happy as a teletubby
  • 3
    @GyroGearloose Sadly not legal here, and I doubt it’s very available from anyone but undercover police. Also, no suicidal thoughts. Mostly just struggling to understand how two people could be so awful to a child, and surprised at the sheer number of events I could suddenly remember.

    @TeachMeCode I was soo tired I don’t think I could have exercised. I’ll try adding it to my routine earlier in the day, though yesterday I was productive until right before I went to bed.
  • 4
    At this point I would suggest counseling. There is a point where devRant can’t help anymore. I hope you only get better from here ❤️
  • 3
    @OmerFlame Thanks 😊

    I don’t use devRant for help, nor expect it. I just rant about things from time to time.

    I have a therapist, but she’s largely useless. I’m trying to find a better one.
  • 1
    @Root well after reading your rants I can tell she’s useless, glad you’re moving on from her
  • 0
    For me, good therapy is shooting lycans in the face with a shotgun in resident evil village
  • 2
    @TeachMeCode
    • Walking out in nature when it’s cloudy.
    • Thunderstorms.
    • Sitting with hot tea on a cold morning, book optional.
    • Lounging in the stillness listening to music
    • Picking on newbies or bots in Smash Brothers
    • Some touching anime that makes me cry
    • Writing. Anything and everything.
    • Archery and shooting ranges.
    • Massage.
  • 0
    @Root
    -Violent games
    -Stupid jokes with friends
    -Alcohol
    -Metal music, especially when drunk
    -jokes about genitals poop piss and farts

    Yeah we as males are more straightforward than you think when it comes to lots of things lol
  • 2
    I hope you find better help. Like already said, devRant can only read your rants and rant back, but not much more.

    So let me rant back:
    We need @Root, because of her great rants. So get your ass close to a whiskey sour and find that help!
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