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5y

!!oracle

I'm trying to install a minecraft modpack to play with a friend, and I'm super psyced about it. According to the modpack instructions, the first step is to download the java8 jre. Not sure if I actually need it or not, but it can download while I'm doing everything else, so I dutifully go to the download page and find the appropriate version. The download link does point to the file, but redirects to a login page instead. Apparently I need an oracle account to download anything on their site. stupid.

So I make an account. It requires my life story, or at least full name and address and phone number. stupid. So my name is now "fuck off" and I live in Hell, Michigan. My email is also "gofuckyourself" because I'm feeling spiteful. Also, for some reason every character takes about 3/4ths of a second to type, so it's very slow going. Passwords also cannot contain spaces, which makes me think they're doing some stupid "security" shenanigans like custom reversible encryption with some 5th grade math. or they're just stupid. Whatever, I make the stupid account.

Afterwards, I try to log in, but apparently my browser-saved credentials are wrong? I try a few more times, try enabling all of the javascripts, etc. No beans. Okay, maybe I can't use it until I verify the email? That actually makes some sense. Fine, I go check the throwaway inbox. No verification email. It's been like five minutes, but it's oracle so they probably just failed at it like everything else, so I try to have them resend the email. I find the resend link, and try it. Every time I enter my email address, though, it either gives me a validation error or a server error. I try a few mores times, and give up. I try to log in again; no dice. Giving up, I go do something else for awhile.

On a whim later, I check for the verification email again. Apparently it just takes bloody forever, but it did show up. Except instead of the first name "Fuck" I entered, I'm now "Andrew", apparently. okay.... whatever. I click the verify button anyway, and to my surprise it actually works, and says that I'm now allowed to use my account. Yay!

So, I go back to the login page (from the download link) and enter my credentials. A new error appears! I cannot use redirects, apparently, and "must type in the page address I want to visit manually." huh? okay, i go to the page directly, and see the same bloody error because of course i do because oracle fucking sucks. So I close the page, go back to the download list, click the link, wait for the login page redirect (which is so totally not allowed, apparently, except it works and manual navigation does not. yay backwards!), and try to log in.

Instead of being presented with an error because of the redirect, it lets me (try to) log in. But despite using prefilled creds (and also copy/pasting), it tells me they're invalid. I open a new tab container, clear the cache (just to be thorough), and repeat the above steps. This time it redirects me to a single signon server page (their concept of oauth), and presents me with a system error telling me to contact "the Administrator." -.- Any second attempts, refreshes, etc. just display the same error.

Further attempts to log in from the download page fail with the same invalid credentials error as before.

Fucking oracle and their reverse Midas touch.

Comments
  • 10
    You don't actually need to log in, but the actual download link is hidden in the most backward location possible...
  • 6
    Yeah, most people have moved on to openJava JRE. It should be in the repos
  • 9
    Oracle
  • 3
    but it runs on every device on earth and the universe!!!!!
  • 0
    Huh I have an account, never had issues. I use openJDK tho
  • 0
    I am so happy I use twitch Launcher for my modpacks.. I don't use the rest of it, but for minecraft Mods it's really good.
  • 3
    My guess, especially since they called you Andrew, is that their profanity filter mega fucked up their own back-end. If you still care, try using non-profane fake credentials.
  • 3
    @epse There was no link to bypass the login, or at least none I could find.

    @AlgoRythm @hash-table @RiderExMachina Didnt actually need anything from oracle 😊 got everything working. The ordeal still surprises me, though.
  • 2
    Encountered that VERY SAME problem twice.

    Guy who runs oracle needs to be kicked in the fucking nuts for being an asshole.

    If more people did this in public the world would be a better place.
  • 0
    Yeah it sucks that you have to register for some downloads now (that's what has kept me from downloading JDK 8 for at least 2-3 times, needed it for testing some old code but just didn't do it after seeing the login page) but on a site note I think it's only for the older "legacy" versions of Java. If you try to download JDK 13 I belive you didn't have to log in, at least not the last time I tried. And like others said OpenJDK is also an option.
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