Android: Gboard has stopped

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(ok, try again, same thing)

presses "send feedback" - O_o and how exactly do I type now?

Just use another keyboard you've installed. If you don't have one, just open Play Store and install one, there should be one that's easy to find without typing (or just open Play Store from a computer and install the app on the phone from there... ).

Have you tried buying another phone? 😎🤯

Have you tried using a better keyboard?

Did you try updating? It fixed the problem for me.